AM I FREAKIN' INVISIBLE OR WHAT?

Merry Christmas to All and to ALL Goodwill toward man!

2006-12-24T20:53:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas EVERYONE!

I hope Santa has given you everything you requested (within reason). May God shower you with blessings in the New Year and for many years to come.

See ya next year! ;)

PS: Down 27 1/2 lbs!!!!! Yippeeeeeeeeeeeee! I'm so glad that I haven't hit a dreaded plateau yet. I HAD hoped to be done to my "fighting weight" by the end of January, but now I'm shooting for a more realistic goal of my birthday -and I refuse to make that a New Year's Resolution -particularly since I found my resolve in early October.

KFC gives me eyestrain

2006-11-14T19:49:00.000-05:00

So I received this e-mail from KFC that invites me to view some kind of logo that is supposed to be visible from space. I squinted and rotated the image and zoomed in and out a kajillion times and couldn't find anything. I left the page open and went to get the 11 year old from school, looked at it for a second and noticed something right away. Then it took me another hour and a half before I was able to figure out exactly how to zoom into exactly the right spot in the exactly right magnification -okay maybe I'm a big dummy, I don't know. But if you don't want to go through all that, just comment me and I'll give you the answer.

Or, if you want to go through the agony, go here:
http://www.kfc.com/facefromspace/default.asp

Gardening is Therapeutic

2006-10-14T09:08:00.000-04:00

mmmmmmm... The curative effects of gardening are really curative -for the soul at least, can't say the same for my bank account. I've spent $50 in two days for two very small flower beds. I've actually done quite well because I had a discount card for the local home improvement world (I can hardly call such a behemoth a store).

I can feel the age in my limbs after several hours leaning in the garden. But these are pleasant aches -the aches from something fun and relaxing that drives the unrelenting tension away. And what a payoff! I can peep out my window and look at the sunshiney faces of my gerber daisies and their less bold friends swaying in the early autumn (such as it is in Florida) breeze. I put in some lovey ground cover (blue haze?) in the larger bed where my bottle brush tree and gladiolas are bedded down. Then I spent hours -literally hours- wrenching out some sort of invasive vines that seem to be attacking everything in my beds -nearly all of my Mexican Heather has been choked back by these treacherous weeds and they've begun their assault on my rosebushes. The sneaky things have bright pretty small green leaves. Without getting a close up view, I'd thought all my plants were thriving. A couple of days ago while working outdoors, I noticed that all the "pretty" green was some awful murderous weed. GAAAGH!

There's plenty more to do, but it will all have to wait at least a couple of days. I have gardening to do, but it's of a more personal kind. Sometimes one must nurture one's own tender life. Tomorrow we're breaking from routine. Rather than rushing off to church we're rushing off to breakfast out. In place of tiring ourselves doing home improvements and car repairs, we're going to tire ourselves enjoying some family time, maybe a little light shopping, a movie?

Monday (no school -some sort of teacher workday) I'll be taking the kids off to the Museum with some friends. My closest friend and her granddaughter will be coming with us to Tampa to the Museum of Science and Industry. MOSI sounds very serious and stuffy, but is actually quite a bit more child-oriented than most museums. And the little kid inside me loves those hands-on exhibits. I simply can't wait for the planetarium and the IMAX dome theater. Maybe I'm more excited than the kids! Wish us a safe drive -it's only an hour away, but traffic going to Tampa can be pretty hairy.

BTW, thanks for the comments on my previous post. And personal note to Kay, I AM considering using the blog as a bit of my therapy -I'm currently seeing a counselor who's always suggesting I write letters (though most likely not mail them) to those who've caused some of the hurt and negativity in my life. I'm just shying away from putting too much negativity on my blog, lest I drive the few readers I have left away from me. Comments always welcome. Have a lovely weekend. I know I will!

Confession right here in my own personal confessional

2006-10-05T09:56:00.000-04:00

Confession is good for the soul, yes? I haven't written ANYTHING on this blog in a shocking 3 months. I confess, there were times that I WAS on the 'puter surfing random triviality and probably could have found the time for a quick post. I just don't know why I haven't bothered. Lazy? Underachiever? More interested in Regis and Kelly during Little Bear's naptime? (not so likely).

So anyway, I read my last post and it sure seemed negative. Made me feel guilty. Don't worry much, EVERYTHING makes me feel guilty. I decide today that I'll try something new. Get things out into the open. Utilizing this post as a private (hah) confessional, I hope to clear my mind of some of my negativity so maybe I can move on.

Confession:

1) I'm fat. Overweight. Hate it. No one else even seems to be bothered about it, but I hate myself for it. HATE MYSELF. I feel ugly and disgusting. It's depressing me and making me procrastinate about dieting and exercising and buying any clothing that might make me look a little better and therefore feel a mite better about myself.

2) I don't do ANYTHING for myself and I feel incredibly guilty if I do. It even stretches as far as buying myself new bras and panties. I'll pick things up and think about all the things that the kids want or would like to have and all the things hubby wants and/or needs and I put everything back and get "presents" for them. I feel guilty to even linger in the bathroom for an extra 5 minutes to finish the chapter I'm on. I feel guilty to just sit quietly reading or relaxing instead of doing housework while Little Bear naps. I feel guilty spending any time at all on the telephone when Kangaroo is home from school and Little Bear is playing. I feel guilty if I get to go to the store for an hour all by myself while Daddy stays with the kids.

3) The one way that I do try to do something for myself is not healthy. I "reward" myself with special chocolates and other fattening junk. And I generally sneak it these things -when one's at school and the other is sleeping or going off to soak in the tub when they're with Daddy and bringing chocolates with me. This is one of the reasons I'm fat. And I feel extreme guilt about that.

4) I have a horrible HORRIBLE relationship with my mother. It's not my fault at all -REALLY and I'm actually going through counseling for it. So that I can convince myself that there's nothing wrong with me and let go of some of THAT guilt.

5) I'm a terrible procrastinator. I can't seem to get anything done until it's the eleventh hour. And sometimes not even then.

6) I often feel like a lousy mother. People are always telling me I'm such a good mom, but I still feel like the worst Mom in the world.

7) I'm pretty sure I'm clinically depressed. I can cry at the drop of a hat. I'm always tired. Everything, including making plans to do something that I enjoy, feels like so much work.

8) I worry incessantly about everything. Sometimes when somethings bugging me I stay awake at night.

9) I'm a total control freak. It stretches into every area of my life and I'm pretty sure it's making everybody around me crazy.

10) I have ZERO patience. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Not one iota.

11) I feel responsiblity for EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY -including how others feel. I feel terrible if I can't help someone resolve whatever problem or worry they have.

12) I occasionally cuss like a sailor. I'm really trying to stop.

13) I can't stand other people being disrespectful or inconsiderate of others. You know them -the aisle blockers, the ones who MUST drive 5-20 miles per hour below the speed limit. The drivers applying make-up, the woman who jumps into the express lane in a packed grocery store even though she clearly has 40, not 20 items, the ass who will look right at me turning my cart with the screaming overtired toddler into a lane at the grocery and still dive in front of my because they are so more important than me and my kid (NOT!!!)

14) I am horrible at saying no to anyone about anything. And when I do force myself I can hardly live with the guilt.

15) All of these things about me drive me crazy, but I rarely do anything to change these behaviors.

Any confessions from any of my readers who have long disappeared or any lurkers?

SORRY!!!!!!!!!

2006-07-21T20:59:00.000-04:00

I know. I know. I know. I've just been so busy being Mommy that there are just not enough hours in the day for blogging or even me time. I'm thrilled to eek out a shower while the little bub is taking his morning nap.

Now he's walking -has been for almost a month. I have to plan his 1st birthday party. I'm drowning in a pile of outgrown baby clothes, blankets, and assorted paraphernalia that he only used for a couple of months. I'd like to give away or consign some or all of it, but hubby has delusions of another child.

So we've been fine here. Things have much improved over the past few months. Now that he's more mobile the little guy can entertain himself a little -at least long enough for me to dash off to the bathroom or fix our lunch. Brother being home for summer break has also been particularly wonderful this year because the boys have each other so it's not all Mommy all the time.

The heat here is as unbearable as ever. A couple of months ago our old minivan died so we were kind of forced to buy a new one -that was a large expense that we really hoped to put off one more year. Now a couple of weeks ago we found major leakage in the attic and had to buy a new roof. Another very unwanted expense. We're only half way through the year and we've already spent a large percentage of hubby's annual salary -and I'd been hoping he could finally cut back on the overtime at work.

I worry constantly about him putting in 82 hour weeks and getting very little sleep. We're not getting any younger and this can definitely not be good for his health.

Well, life rushes on. We're doing fine here. I can't promise any regularity on my blog but I'll try.

Pretty cool poem -I think.

2006-04-26T20:43:00.000-04:00

Water can extinguish fire,
but it can not extinguish fear.

If it could wash away loneliness,
I'd need a lot of water around here.

By HR OLDEST SON

Yesterday was...

2006-03-23T08:16:00.000-05:00

Mommy Hell.

For some reason, (I don't know if he's more clingy because of the teething or because Dr. said to cut back a little on the nursing sessions), Baby V.J. cannot live for even .25 seconds without me. If I venture more than a foot away from him he bursts into dramatic tears. And he continues to cry, no matter how long I am away from him, until I either pick him up or he exhausts himself and dozes off. The way he acts you'd think that I never hold and cuddle him or that I'm constantly taking off and leaving him -neither is true.

All of this is tiring and frustrating enough for any mother and that much more so for a very impatient Mom like me. Top that with a horrendous migraine/tension headache and you can well imagine my pain. In the morning the headache hadn't quite reached it's peak and I actually thought it might be sinus/allergy related so whilst baby slept through his 1 hour morning nap, I got online to pay some bills and do some shopping for Easter. Baby Wondertears woke up and was fine until I put him down to play and thought I could take a quick shower while he played in his play yard. HA! Again I tell you, "HA!"

Of course my headache grew and grew and grew until I was nauseous and could only keep one eye open. Hopefully today will be better. We'll see. Already he's whining because he can't see me from around the corner.

Oh, yeah -HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (off key)! Happy birthday to me (also off key)!

Is it just me or...

2006-03-11T17:28:00.000-05:00

should there be a law preventing you from having and raising children if you're still dumb enough to believe you look good with your pants hanging so far off your a** that your boxers are completely out of the waist band? How do they walk in those things?

We sat behind a young couple in church last week. Their little boy was out of control. TOTALLY out of control. And all I could think was, well maybe if the dad put more time into disciplining his child instead of spending all of his time on his penguin walk to hold his pants up... Okay, so maybe I shouldn't be thinking that way at church, but who could concentrate with that kid tearing up the hymnals and climbing all over the pews?

So, I have much to say but...

2006-03-08T10:00:00.000-05:00

NO TIME TO SAY IT!!! GRRR....

So how about you people tell me your stories and I post the best one? I would especially appreciate stories about ridiculous parents (regardless of whether or not you yourself as a parent, surely you've witnessed something absurdly stupid, rude, bullyish, or whatever that bears repeating) that you may have run into at school AND bonus points if you let me know how you've dealt with them (if you've dealt with them at all) I promise to at least check the comments twice a day.

And probably next week, or as early as this Friday, things should quiet down for me enough that I'll have time to tell you about the parent that's been bullying me at my son's school pick-up line every day.

Well this weather is sure...

2006-02-20T08:17:00.000-05:00

Screwy. Cold, cold, cold. VERY warm. Cold, cold, cold. Very Warm. And this time it doesn't appear to be just Florida doing it. The whole country's having wild weather. I just saw on the Today show that they're having 34 below zero somewhere in the midwest. YIKES. I actually enjoy cold weather, but the idea of anything below zero is horrifying. That hurts your skin just to walk out the door. And to think of the utility bills -Jeez.

What's it been like across the pond?

Baby V.J.'s first attempts at typing

2006-01-25T15:33:00.000-05:00

wA? /. NBVVH M ,NHM GF JB BHHHNMV G NBF

BABY V.J.

I actually have no idea how he managed to get it bolded and all caps. Guess he knows a few keyboard shortcuts that I don't. ;)

And we return to our regular program already in progress...

2006-01-24T09:12:00.000-05:00

Vacation? Not so much. Hubby was sick the week before we left. I was sad that he wasn't completely well when we took off, but pretty surprised and delighted that the kids and I didn't get sick. UNTIL...By the time our 9 plus hours of travel time (including flight time, plane changes, and layovers) were over, ALL of us were sick. Poor sweet baby got the worst of it. Big brother stayed sick for about two to three days. I was sick the whole time. I got better about a week after we got home. I'm now sick again, but in a weird just a high temp, chills and headache kind of way. Baby got the worst of it and was sick for almost three entire weeks. We had to take him to the doctor's while we were down there. Since I don't trust the doctors there, that was a major emotional terror for me. He's much better now. Needless to say the majority of our trip was spent in our bedroom (we own our home down there) with the sick little pumpkin.

It was still nice to spend some time with hubby's extended family, but I feel a little cheated. One thing that did help me a little was the cooking was taken care of by my sister-in-law (though it hardly seemed fair to leave it all to her) and the only cleaning I had to worry about was our bathroom and bedroom. But we also missed out on church, sightseeing, souvenir hunting, the beaches, etc. Oh well. Thank GOD, we're all healthy and safely home. Thanks to everyone for your well wishes with regard to my coping with the new baby. Things ARE getting better, slowly but surely. HR MOMMY

A Sad Admission

2005-12-19T08:41:00.000-05:00

I'm having a really hard time dealing with being a mother all over again. I love my baby. Really I do. But I'm feeling really overwhelmed. He's a difficult baby. He's easily overstimulated so even a shopping trip turns into a nightmare for me. He's a cryer and no matter what you do with him at night -rocking, nursing, singing, etc.- the moment his bottom touches the crib he starts wailing and goes on until he works himself into a gasping, sweating, tear soaked mess. Letting him cry sometimes works. Other times it just makes matters worse.

Now he's begun teething and it's getting even more stressful. We have lots of wonderful moments where he's smiling and giggling and we're enjoying each other, but these horrific crying jags make me feel so overwhelmed and useless.

We're getting ready to go on holiday and though I'm sure we all need a break from the day to day routine, I'm worried about how miserable it will be for me. It's going to be messing with V.J.'s schedule and it's going to be unfamiliar surroundings. We'll be with hubby's family and I'm worried that it will all be too much for me. I wish I could just stay home alone and let hubby and kiddies go, but that would never work. V.J. is nursed and will not take a bottle -of any kind. We've tried every kind. I think that if I could just get some time away for an hour or two a day it would really help. It's pretty hopeless right now. I can't very well switch him to formula when he won't take a bottle. And I really don't want to switch him to formula. I want to give him the best. I feel so worn out. And if one more person tells me it gets better I'm going to lose it. It's NOT getting better. He'll be four months old Friday and if anything it feels like it's getting worse -of course that could be because everyone keeps telling me it will get better and I thought it would be by now.

Please don't worry if you don't hear from me for a while. Christmas is this weekend and we're going to be leaving on vacation soon enough. I won't have access to e-mail while I'm away. Just pray for me that the vacation will be a positive thing and maybe help me relax.

I'm forever your HR Mommy.

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-11-03T10:19:00.000-05:00

I was pulled over this morning by a State Patrolman. I will admit that he was kind enough -ticketed me for a seat belt violation instead of 18 mph over the speed limit. In my defense, I didn't even realize I was going that fast until I saw the patrolman coming toward me from the opposite direction and I did immediately ease off the gas, but apparently not soon enough. Woe is me. I hope my lead foot has learned its lesson. Hubby is going to be so disappointed with me. And that's what bothers me most. He works so hard for our family and I foolishly squander our money by driving carelessly.

Gotta go now. I want to throw together everything for one of hubby's favorite meals.

Can I just tell you?

2005-10-14T10:55:00.000-04:00

NO TWO BABIES ARE ALIKE -even if they do have the same mother.

Why am I telling you this? Well, all of the older women at church kept telling me this when I would tell them what a good baby Oldest Child was. And I just smiled and nodded and didn't really listen too closely. I should have believed them.

Oldest Child was a product of my first marriage -his father hasn't been seen or heard from since I left him. He was verbally, mentally, emotionally, and sexually abusive and an alcoholic who refused to get help. I was in constant depression and misery while married to him. But Oldest Child was a joy of a baby. Quiet, sweet, and easy to care for.

New Baby? NOT SO MUCH! New baby is fussy, stubborn, and has to have every little thing just so. If you're even holding your arm in what he feels is the wrong way he will cry at you. If his blanket isn't on him just so he fusses. If, as I'm nursing him, his arm is at his side instead of digging his little baby razor nails into my flesh he screams indignantly. Don't get me wrong. I love him to pieces. Absolutely adore him.

It's just that since I was in an extremely stressful situation when Oldest Child was born and for his whole first year and I am now in an incredibly loving and nurturing place in my life now, I really thought that meant that Vincent would be an even easier baby. NOT A BIT.

And because little guy is so fussy about every little thing, it's not always easy to figure out just what the heck he's crying about at any given moment. First check the diaper, then feed, then burp, then what? Is he bored again? It only seems to take him 5 minutes to become bored with where he's at, how he's positioned, etc. Is he overtired? Overstimulated? Understimulated? Wants to be held? Wants to be put down? It's not colic, he doesn't fit the profile for that. Sometimes I wonder if we've spoiled him already, but I really don't think that's it. I'm at a complete loss. I know all this will pass, but the real question is... Will I survive it all?

LOL

DAMN THOSE SPAMMERS

2005-10-02T20:33:00.000-04:00

Spammers have found my site. Anyone of my usual readers no how to eliminate that problem? If you comment on my blogger comments I'll be able to get in touch with you.

A very annoyed and tired but otherwise well,

HR MOMMY

We interrupt this blogram for a very important announcement...

2005-08-27T10:39:00.000-04:00

On Tuesday, August 23, 2005 at 12:16 a.m., Vincent Javier was born two weeks early, weighing in at 7 lbs, 12 oz. He's extremely healthy and beautiful and enjoying his days spent nursing, pooping, and sleeping. Please excuse this brief hiatus at "Am I Freakin' Invisible or What?".

HR Mommy

Just came home from the Doctor's Office...

2005-08-22T11:27:00.000-04:00

and I'm dilated 1 cm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited that I can't even relax enough to nap. We're definitely getting close now!!!

T minus two weeks and counting...

2005-08-19T22:00:00.000-04:00

So TODAY was actually a slightly stressful day.

Had my hair trimmed this morning -last official chance to have my hair cut without a baby crying in the background. The haircut was not stressful. But the sitting in the parking lot wondering when the owner of the shop was actually going to show up for the 9:30 a.m. opening was. I'm sorry, maybe I'm a pain in the rear, but I think if you open at 9:30 then your butt should be in your shop and ready prior to 9:30. My hair lady? Not so concerned with traditional courtesy. She pulled into the parking lot at 9:30. Emerged from her SUV talking on her Nextel (I freakin' hate people who have to obnoxiously advertise their private conversations) and takin' her sweet time draggin' her short-shorts clad rear over to the door to unlock. Finally we're inside and she's still listening to her hubby on the Nextel -rather than telling him she'll have to call him back because there's a paying customer waiting for attention. That annoyed me.

Next stop? Take Hubby to the Workman's Comp Doc to be checked out after he got diesel fuel (and not a little dirt) in his eye. Sit there for 150 years, er an hour, only to have them say come back again on Monday. Not terribly stressful. It actually could have been far worse.

After dropping Hubby off, it was nearly time to show up for my volunteer hours at 10 yr old son's school. I was really hungry, but really didn't have time to go home for lunch. I grabbed a cheeseburger at Mickey D's and stopped at the CVS before heading to the school. That's when the real stress set in.

I came out of CVS ready to chomp on my cheeseburger and cruise over to the school. While reaching for my burger with one hand, I turned the key -or at least I thought I did, but there wasn't a sound. I turned around perplexed and tried again. Nothing. I made sure that it had been in Park when I'd shut off the engine. Yep. Looked around kind of confused and tried again. Nada. Nothing had been wrong with the car. No recent hesitations in starting. Nothing. I'd actually just been thinking how well it was running (Apparently, that's where I went wrong). I was perplexed.

I actually ended up calling Hubby and asking him to come. While I waited for poor Hubby to drive the 25 minutes to where I was, three men came over and tried to help. The first one had the theory that perhaps just a wire was loose. He put his hands in various parts of my engine to no avail. He apologized for not being able to help and left. But not before I thanked him for being kind enough for trying. The second guy was a motorcycle guy whom I had just watched start his bike with the ol' touch the screwdriver to the starter selenoid trick- I kind of wondered if that could be my problem, but I wasn't going to ask. I must have looked just pathetic enough. He asked if I was having car trouble and jumped off of his bike and tried that with my car. Sadly, no dice. The third guy was convinced from the first that it was a battery problem and proceeded to try all kinds of handy little tricks that might help the battery. Really a very nice guy. Hubby came pulling into the lot about that time. I called Hubby by his Christian name and the guy looked at me kind of funny (Hubby has an uncommon name) and then asked my name. When I told him he said, "Oh Boy. I'm Gloria's son." You wouldn't know this, but Gloria is one of my closest friends from church. Her son goes to a different church so we've never actually met before. So we were all very thrilled that here a guardian angel had come along to help. It turns out it was the battery.

After only two hours of standing out in the 97 degree heat, we had the battery checked at the auto parts store across the street and the battery was completely shot. The auto parts store even installed it at no additional charge. End of stress, but still, all in all quite a long day for the 9 month pregnant woman.

Oh, the Wendy's update? They actually made amends by coughing up $30 worth of gift certificates good at any Wendy's. Now I just have to get up enough confidence to try Wendy's food again so I can use them. The plastic that was found in my burger? It was a piece of a lid to a dressing container. I'm just still kind of grossed out over it. But they've tried to make it up to us. Okay it's the weekend. Enjoy it!

The good news...

2005-08-16T11:19:00.000-04:00

The humidity is only at 90% today.

The bad news:

It's about 80 kajillion degrees outside. On the pregnancy body heat index it's the equivalent of sitting naked on the sun while covered in Crisco.

Another day another Doctor's Appointment...

2005-08-15T17:32:00.000-04:00

Everything's normal. Doc H says, "Don't worry. Not yet. See you next week." I tell the doctor that I really wish this baby would come SOON. I wonder if it's okay to indicate that I have an actual date that I'd prefer little V.J. to make his entrance, er exit.

Happy Birthday BIG BROTHER! TEN YEARS OLD TODAY!!!!

2005-08-12T06:52:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday
to our big boy
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well...

2005-08-07T15:57:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is another Doc's appointment. I'm getting pretty excited. We only have like 3 1/2 weeks to go. I really want to have him in exactly 3 weeks. And I would appreciate him coming right around this time of the day too.

There's just one problem... BABY'S don't adhere to schedules very well. Anyway, I do recognize the wisdom in waiting patiently for all to happen in God's own time. So I'm trying really hard to chill out and be less of a control freak -the one thing I can't control is my control freak tendency. My suitcase is packed and in the back of the minivan. The car seat is installed. We really do ONLY need the baby now. And it REALLY would be convenient if he'd make sure he comes on a Sunday afternoon when his Daddy is home so that Mommy won't have to sit waiting for Daddy to get home. Patience may be a virtue, but no one ever called Mommy a virtuous woman either.

Big Brother's birthday is this coming Friday. We're keeping it low key. I'm too far along to get crazy with plans, so we've promised to do something extra special with his little school friends in a couple of months. We did try to do something bigger sooner, but his mates were off with their divorced dads for summer break. School goes back on Tuesday. I'm going to be really lonely and anxious sitting home alone all day. My big boy is really a huge help and such a love. There ought to be an Amazing Eldest Child award. He's the greatest. But I'm only capable of making Amazing children ;)

So let's see, what's new at HR Mommy's house?

2005-08-03T07:09:00.000-04:00

Not a whole heck of a lot. It's already been a busy week for us here. The trip to the mechanic was quick and painless. They said they couldn't find anything wrong to be causing the car to run hot. They checked every bit of the cooling system. The guy said the only thing he did at all was to add a tiny little bit (less than a quart) of coolant. But when I left there the problem had gone away. This van has been having this freaky act like it's overheating thing periodically. Every single time they can't figure out why it's doing it and every single time some bizarre little inconsequential thing seems to make it stop. I think the van is a hypochondriac. It's just doing it for attention.

Afterall, with the baby coming and all the focus has just not been on pampering the automobiles. No steam bath for the carpets and interior. No hot wax treatment for the chassis. It's gotta hurt. LOL

Wendy's? Okay, so I took Big Brother (aka my soon to be 10 yr old) swimming at a friend's pool on Saturday morning. After two hours of swimming I really didn't feel like rushing around the kitchen fixing us both lunch. I decided we'd get some fast food. I cruised over to McD's for a happy meal and an extra cheeseburger for Brother and then went across the driveway to Wendy's for my lunch.

The drive-thru line was unbearable, but it was at the late side of the lunch hour. I finally got up there to place my order and the girl typed it in wrong. It took her literally FIVE minutes to change the order from Monterey CHICKEN to Monterey CHEESEBURGER. FIVE. MINUTES. After some wait I pull up to the payment window and then up to the food window. They DID not even know WHAT I ORDERED. They asked me. I told them. Monterey CHEESEBURGER. They seemed to be in disagreement with each other over what my order was but finally handed me my bag and my drink. I started to pull away, got about 6 feet from the window and then thought about their obvious confusion. I stopped and checked the bag. What do you think was in there? Can ya guess? Monterey CHICKEN sandwich. I should have said the hell with it and went home. But I was really craving BEEF. So, despite the fact that I did not want to walk into Wendy's in my bathing suit with my 9 month pregnancy belly, I went inside to point out their mistake. They looked at me like I was nuts. Then wandered off with the wrong sandwich. Then they sauntered over and asked for the right sandwich and finally handed me a bag with my cheeseburger in it. Would you believe they hadn't bothered to give me back my fries? Now I had to flag one down to get that. When I got home I found they also didn't bother to give me any napkins or a straw for my drink. So that was a sucky experience right? Couldn't get a whole lot worse, right? WRONG. I park myself in front of the TV hoping to go ahead and eat my now cold fries and cheeseburger. I eat a couple of fries and then start on my burger. FIRST BITE. FIRST. FREAKIN'. BITE. Something small and hard clamped between my teeth. I pick up a napkin and find that there is a 1 inch long piece of white hard and sharp plastic in my sandwich -or there was, 'cause now it's been in my mouth. Not only was I grossed out, but I was thoroughly pissed off. NO WAY am I going to drive back to town to return it, so I now have no lunch. Not only that, but I'm feeling sick over it. I'm 9 months pregnant. I use papertowels to turn on the water and open the door to public restrooms. I've accosted other women in the bathroom for leaving pee on the seat. I avoid all sorts of germ ridden people everywhere. Now I'm eating some foreign matter that for all I know came off the floor of their restaurant.

I opened the phone book, looked for the number for the local Wendy's, and dialed them up. FORTY FIVE RINGS. No answer. I was even angrier now. I was going to go online to complain, but that was not fast enough for me. I wanted to talk to someone YESTERDAY. I look on the bag and see the 800 number. I call and IT rings forever, but eventually someone answers. I explained everything and they tell me to save the plastic and someone will call me. Couple of hours later their Regional Manager calls back from a nearby major city. I tell him everything and he says they'll be sending coupons. I told him I want them to let me know exactly what happened and exactly what that little plastic thingy was. I agree to drop the piece off at the restaurant on my way through town. That was Saturday. That major town is only two towns away from us. I didn't receive any coupons yet. I forgot to drop off the piece of plastic 'til yesterday. I really just want to know what the hell that plastic was. It was sort of crescent shaped and appeared to have broken off of something. It kind of looked like the edge of a screw on cap from like salad dressing or a coke bottle, or ketchup bottle, or something similar -you get the idea. The only problem is Wendy's doesn't have bottled sodas, dressings, or ketchup. They all come in industrial strength plastic bags. So what the hell was that thing and why was it in MY lunch?

Ah who knows? Okay, pregnancy update? 4 weeks to go and now I'm having these gosh awful cramps way down low -like menstrual cramps. Not contractions. Not pre-labor, but definitely a normal part of pregnancy for some women. It doesn't generally occur in first pregnancies but is fairly common in subsequent pregnancies. The cramps are unbearable. I cannot believe how uncomfortable and I cannot believe that they will probably continue all the way to the end. A month's worth of menstrual cramps!!!! That's no incentive to continue having babies! Oh well, I have had a fairly easy time of it. I guess I'll survive. I just keep trying to tell myself that these cramps are just getting my body ready for delivery and that they're going to make for a much faster and easier labor and delivery. I just hope I'm not lying to myself. ;)

Good Morning

2005-08-01T06:34:00.000-04:00

I'm off to the mechanic to find out why the minivan seems to be running hot, eventhough it's not losing any fluid.

I'm really not looking forward to sitting in the lobby of the auto shop, but I know that if I leave and wait for their call I'll be left waiting forever. When I'm sitting right there they bring the car right in and don't do any of that slipping my car out for a while to look at someone else's.

Remind you to tell you about my misery at Wendy's on Saturday afternoon. Customer Service has become an oxymoron. Let's hope that's not the case at the auto shop this morning.

It's 2:30 a.m. and I am wide awake

2005-07-29T02:35:00.000-04:00

Because Baby Vincent is crushing the crap out of my bowels. Pretty damned literally. There's nothing like trying to sleep through this insistent pressure on my bowels. And I want to sleep now darnit. I have to get up early to mow the lawn before it gets Sauna-hot-and-steamy outside. Blah.

I'm off to bed with a glass of milk and desperate prayers for Baby to take a nap so I can too.

So we had our 34 1/2 week check up today...

2005-07-25T18:42:00.000-04:00

Our next check up is in two weeks. I kind of tried to weedle out of Doc just how big he thought this pumpkin growing inside me is going to be. He wouldn't wage a guess this early, but he did say he's already around 6 lbs NOW. For some people 6 lbs is a normal size baby.

I will now go rifling through my "What to Expect When You're Expecting" to try to find anything that might indicate a way of guesstimating birth weight based on weight at the 34 week check-up. Probably isn't anything there.

I can actually make out the outline of a well rounded thigh ending in a knee that frequently juts out just about rib-cage level and the sharp corner of an elbow just behind my belly button. This kid is STRONG. When he gets hiccups, you can actually SEE my belly jump from a couple of feet away. At times my entire belly seems to vibrate with motion. And when Baby V.J. moves, it's like having a tractor trailer go rolling over my bladder and bowels.

How am I going to walk around another 5 1/2 weeks like this? Stay tuned for future updates.

;D

It's 4:00 a.m.

2005-07-24T04:04:00.000-04:00

and I'm awake for the second or third time since I went to bed last night. I have a horrific sinus headache from doing a good deal of crying.

Yesterday I lost a good friend to cancer. I really hate cancer. I'm so worried for her really wonderful devoted husband. I know it's good that Pat's suffering is over AND she DID go in peace rather than some awful suffering last moments misery, but it's sure hard to believe she's gone. She's so good and my little baby will never know her. I'm so sad.

Here's to you Pat. You taught me a lot while you were here. Look out for us down here. Pray for us all.

Dear God, Please help us

2005-07-21T08:47:00.000-04:00

Another incident in London. Our nearest and dearest Allies in this war on terrorism are now subject to this evil. I can't help but feel that my President is at least partly to blame. It seems his greatest effort was extended toward avenging his fathers grudge against Sadaam Hussein. Leaving only his most impotent efforts at capturing Bin Laden. With all of the time and money and human lives we've spent on this war in terrorism, why is it even possible that these Evil Lowlifes are able to continue?

Londoners, I am so sorry for all of this. May God have mercy on all of us.

The WEATHER?

2005-07-18T09:34:00.000-04:00

Un-freakin'-bearable.

Title? We don't need no stinkin' title

2005-07-15T12:52:00.000-04:00

So Monday was the most recent checkup at the Obstetrician. I have to go every two weeks now. It's killing me. I'm the type who NEVER goes to the doctor. I have to be near death and in absolute misery before I'll even consider going to the Doctor. Here I am, probably healthier than I normally am because I'm watching everything for Baby Vincent, and yet at the Doctor every few weeks. It's frustrating, though quite necessary.

Anyway, Dr. H says everything is fine. Did an internal and the heartbeat shebang. I've been feeling like this baby is huge compared to what I remember of older son ten years ago. I said to Dr. H, "Dr. my other son was a full 8 lbs, which is a fairly large baby, and I don't remember feeling this much movement and in as many places as early as this. People can actually see my tummy moving without even trying to look. Do you think this is going to be a large baby?"

Dr. H smiles sweetly and nonchalantly replies in his faint mid-eastern accent, "Oh, yes. I think maybe this is a bigger one." Words that strike fear in the hearts of every 5'3" and under woman in the world.

Needless to say, I'm more than a little nervous and was unable to press him as to just exactly HOW BIG is a "bigger one". I have to go back again on the 25th. I'm hoping that Dr. A will tell me without pressing. I'm kind of almost afraid to ask. Then there's the added problem of that it's all really just guesstimating. They really don't have a definite way of knowing. And the guy who works with hubby had a pregnant wife who delivered day before yesterday. About a week or two before her due date, the Dr. told her he thought her baby was around 10 lbs, and, since she's such a tiny woman, they should go ahead and plan on a c-section. Well her baby was born and is only 7 1/2 lbs. I don't want them putting me through an unnecessary c-section. Actually, I don't want a c-section at all. I've already pushed out an 8 pounder. Surely I can handle a SLIGHTLY larger babe, right? So shy of breach, I have no intention on submitting to a c-section, but that girl has the same Dr. that I do. So I'm kinda nervous.

Of course Chris at Rude Cactus (see links at left) and his wife Beth are also worrying about the whole c-section thing since the beanette has recently decided to flip back over butt first in her Mommy's weary womb. So, maybe I should stop being a whiner lest my wee one decide to do similarly worrisome acrobatics.

In other news, I'm sick of the Florida heat. Even the walk out to the mailbox is like stepping into a sauna. I'm giving thanks everyday that we've been missed by both Hurricane Dennis AND Hurricane Emily, but I do wish they'd just spun out to sea rather than hitting other areas. Those of us who live along the Gulf were tortured enough last year. These Hurricanes are really a threat to one's sanity.

I found re-newed joy in the internet while I was 2 weeks without a modem. I would go back to posting more often, but then I'd really confuse everyone when I had to drop out of sight for a while when Baby V.J. comes into the home stretch. If you want to pray for anything for me, pray for a miracle -pray that I'll be this amazing powerhouse of energy after our Baby Boy comes. I'm so worried about neglecting the house and the Big Brother and the meals and the Hubby. I know that's the least of things, but...

Well, HR Mommy signing off. Feel free to share your two cents. Ask questions if you like.

UNBELIEVABLE

2005-07-10T18:28:00.000-04:00

Okay, so you're all probably already thinking that I've gone missing again. Believe me, it was not by choice. I went to Daytona with 10 yr old son and had lots of exhausting fun. Came home, unpacked, went to check my e-mail and found that my modem was hit by lightning.

Still, when my company from Jersey arrived the next day I persuaded her husband to try to look at it. Definitely fried. Pooh!

Boy was I irritated. Didn't get it fixed until today because there's just been no time and since we live no-man's-land, there's no computer shop in town. Today we took it to circuit city and it was done in less than two hours. YAY! Here I am back once again. Let me just tell you, I don't do well offline. I think I've been suffering withdrawal symptoms. All I did Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday was lay around and make very weak attempts at small household duties. Today? Today I am a fireball. Okay, not so much a fireball, but maybe more like a burning match. LOL.

Anyway this was your explanation and I'll probably update y'all again midweek. Bye.

A Quicky...

2005-06-27T07:39:00.000-04:00

Just a really quick post to let you know all is well. We're having our 3rd sonogram today and it will be placed on CD -cool. Immediately after our Doc's appointment, Big Brother and I will be taking off for Daytona Beach for a few days. Some generous friends from church have invited us to their beach getaway. I know we'll have tons of fun and it'll be nice to escape the doldrums of summer. Son will enjoy the girl his age's company (they get along wonderfully) and I will enjoy the company of her grandmother who is a twin to my personality, except slightly more old fashioned (naturally, since she is a little older).

Pray for a safe relaxed trip for us and we'll be back with updates near the end of the week. Kay, dear, in case you're wondering, I'm updating around once a week now. Have a lovely day!

Well...

2005-06-14T18:17:00.000-04:00

Since it's National Webloggers' Day, I thought (after being kindly and gently reminded by Mr. Teacher) that I had better give my update today.

So, we went to our Seven Month Check-up last Wednesday, and everything was fine with the check up. BUT... I was a very crabby pregnant Mommy. First the back story. At the end of our last check-up when it was time to schedule our next, I asked Dr. A whether or not he would be doing our second sonogram at that time. He said yes and I had been told previously that the second sonogram could be saved on CD -the second is a 3-D image. I then asked for the latest appointment available that day so that my husband wouldn't have to leave work too early and lose hours. I was thinking like 4:30, since they close at 5 and they only ever see me for a few minutes. They told me the absolute latest available was 3:45. I wasn't thrilled, but I took it.

Now flash forward to last Wednesday. In the morning I call the doctor's office to ask what type of media I should bring to save the sonogram to at my afternoon appointment. They told me that they have the CDs right in the office. I run up to hubby's job with clean clothes (he's a heavy equipment operator) so that he could get cleaned up in the bathroom before we headed to the doctor. We rushed and got to the doctor at 3:20 -this to me is good etiquette. We sat in that waiting room until 4:30 -45 minutes past my appointment time and the time I had requested my appointment for. We then were kept sitting in the exam room until 5 PM. I was HOT. FIRE. Steam pouring from my ears. Need I remind you that they close at 5? Need I tell you that I expected to be now rushed right out? There were other people who had come into the office AFTER us who were already gone. Can you say pissed?

So finally Doctor H. comes in. I had to remind him that I was there for a sonogram. They had me in the wrong room. We had to be moved to the right room. Then I remind Doctor about the CD. Dr. H tells me that he can't make a CD. Only Dr. A knows how to do that. Okay, so now I'm not only pissed, but crying. We're self-pay patients. We have no insurance. Every sonogram costs money -a lot of money. My husband just lost 3 hours of work in order to get to the doctor's office and sit for 1 hour and 45 minutes. I was very excited about having the CD. I told everyone they'd be able to watch baby on CD. Hubby can't just go willy nilly taking afternoon's off to see the sonogram. AND FRANKLY, why couldn't the dimwitted receptionists figure out that if I was coming for that second sonogram AND called them to ask about the CD and they hadn't scheduled me to see Dr. A, that I wouldn't be able to get my CD made. I was angry AND hurt. Dr. H. was very nice and apologetic. I felt bad for him. It wasn't his fault. He wasn't there for any of the scheduling. But I made him listen to me because I was SOOO angry and near tears. And Dr. H did not know how to get the sonogram to appear on the big plasma screen, do HR Daddy and HR First-born-son didn't get the greatest view of the sonogram either.

Well, he got it straightened out. He did not charge us for last week's sonogram and he made sure they'll have it scheduled right for next month so I get my CD.

I'm still kind of mad. But I imagine I will eventually get over it. Well, I'm off to make a list of the things we still have to buy for the baby. It's hard to sit still for that when I seem to think of ten other things I have to do every time I sit down.

HR Mommy

A message from Target about my new Target baby registry

2005-06-07T23:08:00.000-04:00

H.R Mommy and H.R. Hubby have created a Target baby^™ Registry at Target® and asked us to share it with you. It's filled with things needed for the new baby, plus things that are just plain cute. Here's H.R and H.R.'s personal message to you:

Hello -

We just wanted to let you know that we've registered with Target baby at Target.com to get ready for our future arrival! You can take a look at our Registry online at http://www.target.com/gp/registry/babyreg.html or visit the Registry kiosk at any Target store!

Best Wishes,
H.R Mommy and H.R. Hubby

You can see and shop from the parents' Registry online at Target.com:
http://www.target.com/gp/registry/3K8TL3KDHB2RX

We hope this helps you find the perfect baby gift!

Best regards,

The Target baby Team

Gift ideas on H.R and H.R.'s Registry

Extra-Thick Cotton Terry Changing Pad Covers - Set of 2

$17.99

Quilted Baby Blue Terry Cloth Sheet Saver - Set of 2

$14.99

Quilted White Terry Cloth Sheet Saver - Set of 2

$14.99

Target.com powered by Amazon.com

Heat heat go away...

2005-05-31T19:48:00.000-04:00

It was up into the mid 90s already and we hadn't had rain in weeks. Our grass is so dry that I came in from mowing covered in dirt from riding through many dust clouds kicked up by the mower. I've been watering daily for weeks now.

At long last, I was wide awake from 2:00 this morning until I was lulled to sleep by the enticing rumble of thunder and the tinkling of rain drops falling over the roof vent of the range hood. For the first time in weeks, we've had a lovely soaking. It stayed dreary gray nearly all day. The forecast calls for NUMEROUS showers and thunderstorms tonight and then scattered showers and thunderstorms after midnight. How beautiful those words sound to me.

WEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL....

2005-05-24T12:40:00.000-04:00

School's OUT!!!! Yippeeeeeee! I'm one of the few parents that's excited that school is finally out.

One might think I'm just glad because I'm a teacher and wanted it to be over months ago, or even that I'm glad 'cause it's already in the 90s and humid and I'm very pregnant and I just don't want to leave the house much anymore (particularly since in Florida the school hallways are open air -read that as wet in the rain, muggy in the heat, and cold in the winter). In all actuality, I'm always excited for the school breaks. I love having my kid at home. I love not worrying about supervising homework and planning my life around the school day. I love being able to sleep past 5:00 a.m. during the week. I love being lazy if I feel like it AND I'm hugely pregnant and tired of school.

Next sonogram is June 8th. So far Mom and Baby are both very healthy. I have to go next week to pre-register at the hospital and to the lab for the Glucose Tolerance Test -YECH! I hate labs, I hate hospitals and I REALLY HATE the taste of that nasty ultra sweet drink they give you to test for gestational diabetes.

Oh well. What's new with all of you??????????????

Okay, okay...

2005-05-15T07:42:00.000-04:00

<HTML>I've had comments e-mailed to me from Teacher, Wendy, and UK Keith recently begging an update.  I'd stopped blogging because I thought no one was interested AND I was a tired preggy AND this whole substitute teaching thing became practically a full time job, but I guess it was never a permanent stop. So we're now 6 months along and know that we're having a boy.  Finances continue to be a struggle.  Did you know doctors now want to be payed in advance of delivery?  Technically, hospitals are the same -they offer a 40 % discount for payment in advance -which will still beat our interest rates on our credit cards, but paying $50/month for the rest of our lives did seem more appealing. Ah well.  Questions?  Comments?  If you comment in the blogger comments, it's e-mailed right to me.  I can't guarantee daily posts again, but let's see if I can't try at least bi-weekly now that school's going to be out in another 10 days.  Then there's swim lessons for big brother and Mommy will be tutoring the neighbor's granddaughter -who's just failed first grade.  No rest for the weary. Cheers!

The Pregnancy Chronicles: Chapter Two

2005-01-18T18:40:00.000-05:00

I can usually (I can't say "usually" quite strongly enough) fight off the nausea before it goes full blown vomiting. I'm tired. And this baby doesn't want me to eat almost anything. Every little thing seems to be bothering me. I'm probably eating half the amount that I normally would. I just feel so full so quickly.

And then there's the dark underbelly of the first trimester -GAS! Ugh! When it's not trapped inside making me feel miserable, it's wanting to release as soon as I'm either out in public or on the telephone. I'm not one who enjoys unwanted attention. And EVERYTHING is making my stomach feel all acid.

Then there are the lovely pluses -I feel (and this may sound goofy to some people) so connected with the world. I feel so much more loving and affectionate (and moody and weepy and whiny, too). I feel even closer to God than ever before. I feel so full of hope and at the same time worried to death for the little life inside of me.

I also feel terribly panicky. Like constantly worrying that something awful is going to happen to my husband or my self or even our other pumpkin. I'm worried that at 32 going on 33 I'm getting so old to start the old diaper changing, nursing, potty training, when do they eat solid foods again, teething, awake half the night thing. Big brother is already at the age where he pretty much can take care of himself -fix his own lunch, iron his own clothes, bathe and dress himself, entertain himself, wipe his own rear (I don't think he'd enjoy me making references to his bathroom habits, but then he'll probably never read this).

I need to get registered at Target.com and Penneys.com because I'd about given up on ever having another baby. Big Brother is going to be 10 this year. All I have left is a crib and a handful of little boy outfits. I don't even have a bunch of friends of child bearing age around here. Most of my friends here are of retirement age.

One more big scary worrisome thing -we don't have insurance. Insurance at hubby's job is $250/wk -way more than we can afford. We probably earn too much for any other kind of coverage and the school doesn't offer insurance to substitute teachers AND I won't be working after the baby comes. I'm trying not to worry. I'm trying to rest in the Lord. I'm trying to put all of my faith in God. I know He will provide, but I am only human, so I'm ocassionally flipping out. I think that's normal.

Thank you everyone for all of your well wishes. We're very excited about the new baby. I'll try to be more frequent with "State of the Belly" addresses. Have a nice day -Incidentally, It's freakin' freezin' down here. 30 at night. IN FLORIDA! I'm lovin' lighting a fire every night and snugglin' under the extra comforter. Sadly, the cold will all too soon give way to 80 degrees AGAIN!

Take care everyone. Keep warm.

Well, long time no see...

2005-01-13T20:40:00.000-05:00

I've been busy with the holidays and all of the chores and errands that overtook my "Christmas vacation." Today is the first day back to school since before Christmas.

This morning was my second morning of morning sickness. Blech! But the good news is, if I must vomit, at least it's for a good reason. We're pregnant!!!!!!! We figure (based on the formula I found in "What to Expect When You're Expecting") that we're due for late August to early September. The big brother's birthday is August 12. It'd be kind of cool if the new edition is born on September 12, and that'd insure us beating the kindergarten deadline (must be 5 by September 15 in order to enroll, otherwise my poor kid will be six in kindergarten, not cool at all).

Your inevitable question: What kind of baby do we want? Our answer: A healthy and strong one. I really would be very happy with either sex. I think hubby would like another boy. I think boys are easier. But a little girl with little curls and adorable little outfits would be like having a real live baby doll. And there's all those mother-daughter activities that the mother of a son misses out on. But I'm used to being the mother of a boy already. And I really do feel that boys are easier. I'm impartial. And I'm leaving it up to the good Lord.

Have a lovely day.

HR Lady.

EXTRA EXTRA, Read all about it!

2005-01-10T18:28:00.000-05:00

Fa la la la la....

2004-12-15T11:36:00.000-05:00

La la la la.

I'm so sick of wrapping gifts,
My tape anxiety is causing rifts.

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

If I write one more card,
I'll need to buy a wrist guard.

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Pine needles litter the rug,
I've caught a touch the humbug.

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Don we now our credit accounts,
Charging gifts in vast amounts.

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

One more week that I must survive,
Christmas spirit must revive.

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Oh give me one more paycheck,
Oh give me one more paycheck,
Oh give me one more paycheck,

And give it right NOW!!!

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Well....

2004-12-13T15:30:00.000-05:00

I'm feeling RATHER special. I've been invited by Mr. Teacher to guest blog at The Report Card (see link at left), (along with a pool of others) during his upcoming absence over the holidays.

I might venture a guess that Mr. Teacher will be taking a holiday from "The Country Not To Be Named." I must get my passport in order if I'll be guesting at a foreign blog! ;D

UPDATE:

2004-12-09T08:18:00.000-05:00

I suck at blogging lately. Sorry. Thanks to all who are still loyally checking up on me. When I haven't been busy working, I've been busy catching up on housework or Christmas stuff. Why do people think it's fun to have some social OBLIGATION scheduled every single day and night of December? Maybe I need to drop out of a couple of clubs so that I can avoid a party or two?

Christmas shopping is technically done. If you count it as done when you're just waiting for half of your gifts to be delivered. I did 95% of my shopping online. I'm thrilled that I was able to snag a Nintendo DS for my wonderful kid.

FYI: Pray for us. We've been praying about extending our family. The Kid would like a baby brother or sister and so would we. We were waiting and waiting until finances were better, but we now realize that if we keep focusing on that we'll never have one. And I'm not getting any younger -as the select silvery strands in my forelock will attest.

Miss you all like crazy. I'm thinking that once school's out for winter break (THREE freakin' weeks, can ya b'lieve it?), I'll be able to catch up on blogs and blogging. I'm still sickened by the nightmare that is the reelection of BUSH.

Catch ya later.

So what's up in HR Lady's world?

2004-11-21T17:25:00.000-05:00

Well, Hubby finally got me the treadmill I've been nagging about for the past six months or so. Yesterday I got a brand new, never used bread machine with instruction book for $20 at our Ladies Auxiliary sale so today I'm already baking a 1 1/2 lb loaf of Italian herb bread -it smells great.

Today I finally made the pants for hubby that he bought material for six years ago. He's proud of me. It's a shame it took me this long to get comfortable with my sewing machine, but that's another story.

For the first time in a little while the house was completely cleaned by Saturday afternoon and now I have lots of free time to do whatever I feel like. I'm thinking of making the skirt I bought the pattern for.

Well, everybody take care. I'm trying to get better about updates here. Since I've been working out I DO have a lot more energy, so maybe that will mean I'll get all my chores done a little more quickly.

I've been VERY naughty!

2004-11-16T10:28:00.000-05:00

Okay, not so much, but I have been neglecting my blog and my faithful readers for a little while now.

The good news is that I've only been neglecting my blog because I've been working steadily and constantly for the last few weeks. That means afternoons are tied up in cooking and quick straightening up. Weekends are all about laundry, church, and trying to scrape up some family time. I'm crashing into bed by 8:30 every night only to drag myself out of bed and onto the treadmill every morning at 4:30.

I'm feeling great about work, life, my family, the coming holidays, and getting into shape. I've lost a few pounds without even trying -the only change I'd made initially was oatmeal for breakfast every morning and starting substitute teaching. I'm constantly torn between wanting to be called in the next day and wanting to just have a free day to shop, cook, clean, rest, etc. But I'm really glad I've managed to earn a little christmas shopping nest egg.

Spoiled-but-deserving-son should be overwhelmed by his Christmas. I have a good list of stuff I could get for hubby, but there's something I want to surprise him with and need advice. I want to get him an air compressor and air tools, but I'm not sure how many gallons, how many horses, how much PSI, etc. Anyone interested in educating me?

Oh well, still bumming over the whole coming four torturous years with Bush. I so cannot believe that many people actually voted for him. So now that he has no worries about pleasing us in a move for re-election he'll feel he has carte blanc (did I spell that right?)!

Oh, well, I can't do anything about it. I just live here.

FYI:

2004-11-03T21:12:00.000-05:00

It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies!

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. Africans drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

And, btw, yes I voted and I'm praying fervently that Bush is out on his a$$ in no time.

I'm still alive and...

2004-11-01T00:12:00.000-05:00

I haven't given up on blogging. I have my sweet little kindergarteners again and I've been extremely busy between work and sewing up some pretty cool halloween costumes -Hubby will be King (as usual), I will be Queen (cuz I am) and my little darling will be a Knight. Their costumes are pretty awesome if I may say so myself.

Take care. Updates coming when I can breathe again.

Warning to all current or future substitute teachers:

2004-10-14T07:34:00.000-04:00

Beware! If your child, your neighbors child, your niece, your nephew, your grandchild, or any child in attendance at the school you'll be subbing at tells you that Mrs. X's class is the worst class in the whole school, BELIEVE IT! Don't even bother making polite Christian noises about how no one group of people can be that bad, etc., etc.

Yes, folks, yesterday I had the class from hell. I, who don't approve of teachers screaming at kids, was one octave below screaming continuously all day. I came home with one hell of a headache -an aggravation headache. By the afternoon I had already written a student up and sent him to the Vice-Principal's office. After lunch I managed to tame most of the beasts. The children freely admitted that their teacher had already written up thirteen of 20 children in the class.

I like to think I handled things well. I can't be sure, but I think so. If only they hadn't given me that headache, it wouldn't have been too awful a day. I'm seriously considering going back to school so that I could teach full time. I'm not committing to that yet, but it could happen. There's a real teacher shortage here and there are all kinds of financial aid for potential teachers.

Well, I'm off to Mass. Catch ya later.

I've been too busy to breathe...

2004-10-12T06:48:00.000-04:00

in between harboring a 3 or 4 day sinus/tension headache. It starts out as sinus and by the time the morning is fading it becomes a tension headache from walking around stiff-necked trying not to move my aching head. I had hubby step on my back a little on Saturday that helped some.

I served as a teacher's aid in Pre-K yesterday. Three and Four year olds are a breeze. They come to school, eat breakfast, so the pledge, read a story, do the calendar, get assigned "jobs", do a craft, go to lunch, watch a movie (or go outside when it's not raining), take a two hour nap, eat a snack, pack up their back packs and go home. The worst part of the whole day was unloading them from their cars in the morning (in the rain and humidity) and loading them into their cars in the rain in the afternoon. My hair looked like crap yesterday.

If I don't get called in within the next half hour, I'm going to the transmission shop for my one week check-up. While I'm there they'll have to run a diagnostic to see why the check engine light is on again. When it rains, it pours.

WHAT, WHAT, WHAT is the deal with the post office? Schools were open yesterday, the public library was open yesterday, the stores were open. I think even our bank was open, but the post office? CLOSED. Why is Columbus Day a great big holiday for postal workers and not the rest of us? Are we not American? Do we not bleed red, white, and blue? Do we not snore the star spangled banner? OKAY, OKAY, I AM being ridiculous, but when one has bills that they waited until the last minute to mail...

TODAY

2004-10-06T16:22:00.000-04:00

*****SOBBING*****

I already miss my sweet little kindergartners!!!!!!!

Three straight days with the same class. We've already bonded.

Tomorrow I'm teaching 1st grade. Friday I'm teaching 3rd, 4th, and 5th -It's called Project child. They switch classes on and off all day. I'll be teaching science.

I'm exhausted. My kingdom for a foot rub. But it's a good kind of exhaustion (what the hell does that mean anyway? LOL)

In Case You've been wondering, I've moved...

2004-10-05T15:20:00.000-04:00

Okay, just kidding. It's WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY too cold up there. And, after all, this many hurricanes so early in the year IS a fluke (it IS a fluke, ISN'T it? Please say it's a fluke.)

I've just been real busy this week teaching. Last week I had a very wonderful friend succomb to cancer. I know she suffers no more, but it was still tough on me. Yesterday I was depressed that it was my mom's birthday and I can't even send a card or gift or call her because of the gosh-awful problems we have.

I'm okay today. I'm thrilled to be teaching Kindergarten this week. The first day was a little tough, but by the second day I was adjusted to repeating myself 40,000 times and became just slightly more firm. Also, by the second day you know which kids you have to watch.

#@&^%$!)(X~`!@&%^$%$$#$%^^

2004-10-04T15:20:00.000-04:00

*&%#@!#@$%^&*(%^$#@%#^$#*&^(%^*&$^&#$$!@^@#^#%^%**&#$%^#@@$#@&#%%&(*(&*&(_)*()(+)^^$@#%#$!%#EWSXYRE$&%^@%@#$%^$*&^)*&*&$#%!@@##&&^(&*$#@$@!%$#^%^&*&*((**(&*(%^##$@!!@#!!!!@#$$RDFV ZCXAW!#$@!@#%^$RT$#$^#&$#$EDDTRSD%#$@%#!%#@%&$%^&***(&$#@!#$%^&*(&^%$#@!#$%^&*

TGIF and What a Week!

2004-09-24T08:12:00.000-04:00

I've barely had a minute to rest all week. One thing after another and I'm stressed to the max.

First off was the early part of the week when I sat at the transmission shop for two days in a row only to have the idiots at Cottman tell me that my transmission is running fine (well, to me, if the check engine light is on and coding as a transmission problem, that's just not fine). Then I took it to another transmission shop, handed them the codes and they told me it's an internal problem that requires taking apart the transmission. What they didn't tell me, but I did overhear while they were talking amongst themselves in the office, was that the Cottman guys probably didn't do it because it's a) a tough job and b) they don't have the right equipment to work on my make and model of vehicle. They will probably have to keep my car for at least week (and I live in the boondocks so it's impossible to be without my vehicle for a week), which means renting a car. AND it could be as much as $2,500. We're pretty depressed about it. We don't have that money. We have credit cards we could use, but we don't see how we'd keep up with the payments on the credit card then. We just finished spending a ton of money on a generator, clean up from the last hurricane and preparation for that hurricane and the one that's about to hit us this weekend. It's awfully discouraging.

And, where the school told me they could probably keep me working five days a week for some time, I've been certified for two weeks now and worked a grand total of THREE days. BTW, I STILL love this job. I worked this past Wednesday and had a terrific day. I'm getting into the swing of things and feel more confident too.

Almost every night this week I've had one meeting or another to put together. Monday night it was Women's Guild, Tuesday night it was the Parish Advisory Council (of which I'm a member), Wednesday night was nothing for me, but hubby had his prayer group that night, Thursday (last night) was the Open House at sweet son's school. Hubby and I have barely seen each other all week. I'm looking forward to tonight when none of us has anywhere to go. We'll have a leisurely supper of marinated, grilled chicken breasts and Spinach and Rice with Feta -yum. And then we'll probably couch potato it for a short while before hubby has to get to bed so he can get up at 3 AM and go to work.

Today is supposed to be the day hubby finally learns the result of his review/raise. His anniversary date with the company was right after labor day, but no one tells you anything until your first check with the new raise. I hope it's as good as we're expecting (not that it'll help much with the transmission), not only because of the transmission, but also because hubby needs some good news this week.

I had some very good news Wednesday. My anullment finally went through. I will soon be a full fledged-sacrament receiving Catholic. And our marriage will be blessed in the church. Then we will go down to Mexico to get married in the church where my husband was raised, as we'd promised his mother when she was on her deathbed -if we ever come up with the money to make the trip. Have a safe weekend and pray for us with this next hurricane coming in this weekend.

Monday Mayberry Moment # -who the heck knows? I even forgot what day it was...

2004-09-21T05:43:00.000-04:00

I was so busy yesterday -sitting in the transmission shop for hours (and I gotta go back today, can you believe it?), then volunteering at the school (it wasn't a teaching day for me), then rushing through domestic chores, and finally running off to my Women's Guild meeting (and why the HECK can't those women stay on task?!?!), that I completely forgot to post my Monday Mayberry Moment.

Here's one for you (or maybe it's only me that's shocked and disgusted by this?!?!?!?) FIFTH GRADERS carry cell phones. YES, I said 5th Graders. I'm disgusted with any parent who gives in to a 10 year old and buys them a cell phone.

Irresponsible redneck parenting method 101:

If you can't be bothered to actually be there to supervise your child, or appoint a trusted adult to do so, depend instead on a phone. Gives ya warm fuzzies, doesn't it?

I'm sorry, but I think that at 10 years old there is absolutely NO valid reason for a ten year old to have a cell phone -unless they are AT HOME and it's the only phone the family has. But to be carrying a cell phone to school?????

If you're stupid enough to allow your child to walk to school alone, the cell phone isn't going to keep them safe. Do you think the pedophile that snatches your kid is going to worry about your child placing a call? The wheels on the car go smash crush smash, smash crush smash. And anyways, if they do snatch your child, don't you think they'd toss the phone immediately?

But my kid has a lot of activities and I need to be in touch with him/her, you say?!?!?!? How about actually attending those activities instead of using activities and a cell phone as a babysitting service? But I work and I want to be able to reach my child, you say? Well, maybe if you weren't shelling out the bucks for overly ostentatious gifts and electronics, you could spend more time AT HOME with the kid? And next, did you ever think by letting your kid wander around unsupervised with an expensive piece of electronics (and a free reign to charge up a good bill) opens them up to thieves and other unsavory folks?

So, okay, maybe I haven't hit on every issue, but I am open to hearing any valid suggestions for why a ten year old needs to carry a cell phone. I'm not sure you can convince me. But you can try. BTW, make sure you're nice or you will be deleted. LOL

Well, today was my first day at my new job...

2004-09-16T19:13:00.000-04:00

I had my first substitute teaching assignment today. It was only a half day to cover for a teacher who had a meeting to attend.

It was a pretty easy day. If all of my assignments would be this easy, I'd be overjoyed. My biggest problem was blood sugar induced overly energetic chatter immediately after lunch and excessive energy at the end of the day when everyone was supposed to be silently reading. And, if ya ask me, that's nothing.

Today was 3rd grade. Tomorrow I'll be teaching 5th grade (and yes, we really do get to teach, not just babysit). Pray for me. :D

Very Good Looking Damn Smart Women

2004-09-14T15:10:00.000-04:00

Barrie sent me this. I thought I'd share:

Today is International Very Good Looking Damn Smart Women Day, so please send this message to someone you think fits this description.

Please do not send it back to me as I have already received it over fifty thousand times and my inbox is full.

If you live there long enough, you'll become one of them

2004-09-13T07:42:00.000-04:00

Finally a new Monday Mayberry Moment -after weeks of nothing. And this week's Moment tells on ourselves, which I guess makes it twice as hilarious.

In preparation for the hurricane we did something pretty common, filled our bathtub with water. This is so if the power should go out we'll have water to flush the toilet and maybe for washcloth baths. We have a big garden tub in our Master Bath, so we figured that would be plenty. After all, we'd never lost power for more than maybe an hour. Then the dire predictions of power out for the interim of the storm came across the radio waves.

Hubby took our smallest trash can, the 55 gallon wheeled one, washed and filled it with the garden hose. Figuring we wouldn't be able to go out in the storm for water, he wheeled it into the master bath. A little later we were sitting around in our Plywood-covered-windows darkened living room, when we heard a bang. I ran to see what it was.

A little background here for the uninitiated: We have a 17 year old cat who has bladder control problems. Due to her frequent accidents, she is kept in the (large) master bath where the tile is far easier to clean than wall to wall carpeting. To give her air circulation, we've created a sort of dutch door with a piece of plywood which sits right into the frame of the pocket door on our master bath. It's just high enough that she can't jump out and just low enough that we can check on her, throw treats in for her and allow air circulation.

So when I got to the bathroom, the trash can had tipped over (apparently the sloped design that allows for the wheels, also made it top heavy once water was in it), kitty was crying, her litter box floating on six inches of water. Believe it or not, the dutch door was actually holding most of the water in there. BUT I didn't realize that. I immediately whipped open the plywood door and the water began pouring out onto my winter white berber carpeting.

I just started screaming, "HONEY QUICK! HONEY QUICK! COME!" After what seemed like forever he came into the master bedroom and seemed to have no more idea about what to do than did I. Kitty was still crying. He grabbed the dust pan and started scooping the water into the toilet. We couldn't see where kitty was, but assumed she was hiding scared.

Kitty stopped meowing. I started calling her and she wasn't responding. I told him, "Where's kitty?" He, angry, said, "Forget it now. She gotta be dead." I started crying and went running into lakeland AKA the master bath. I found Kitty happily floating in her litter box (it's one of those covered ones) and dry as could be.

I began dragging out old towels and eventually old blankets to clean up all the water.

To be continued...

Search Me

2004-09-11T19:39:00.000-04:00

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2004-09-09T18:40:00.000-04:00

The yard is STILL half way full of branches, leaves, etc.

Today is my wedding anniversary. Five really awesome years. Hubby has to work late to try to make up some of his hours he lost when no one worked in the hurricane aftermath. That's just part of what sucks when you're payed hourly. On the other hand, they'd work him into the ground if he was salaried.

What have I done so far to celebrate my anniversary? Oh, well, I ordered an 8000 Watt generator (sadly, it's on backorder and I have absolutely no idea when I'll get it -pray about that for me would ya?) and spent two hours driving around to every store in town trying to buy gas cans (My kingdom for a gas can). None at Walmart. None at the autoparts store. None at the Bargain Barn. ONE at Evan's Hardware. For 40 freakin' Dollars!!!!!!! I rushed over and snatched it up. I still needed at least two more. The generator runs for 9 hours on 6.5 gallons.

I filled the gas can I just bought and the other one that we already had and headed home. On the way home I passed Burns Mower and Saw. Go ahead and picture it, cliche though it may be, a LIGHT BULB actually appeared over my head. I thought, "Hey, I wonder if I'm the only clever one in the entire town?" and I pulled right into the driveway. Walked in the door and the first thing I saw was an assembly of sweet, beautiful, coveted red gas cans. I'd entered heaven. And wasn't I pleased with myself! I bought three of them. I'm going to get those filled up tomorrow.

Forecasts are contradictory. The expected impact is anywhere from Sunday to Tuesday, or not at all -depends what meteorologist you're listening to. I think I'm ready now -well, not emotionally, but as far as the essentials go. If there's another one behind Ivan, I'll probably have a nervous breakdown.

BTW, if you're ever without power and think it could be for more than a day, try not to use any dishes that need to be washed. They get pretty yucky by the time the power comes back on. Needless to say, today I bought 100 plastic forks and spoons and the 300 pack of paperplates and the 250 pack of dinner napkins.

Next tip, if there's even the slightest possibility of the power going out for days (like in the event of a hurricane), buy tons of bags of ice and put them into your freezer -really cram it full, enough to fill your refrigerator pretty good once the power goes out. They say the fridge will be okay if unopened for 4 hours -mine lasted the three days and the only thing I lost was a tub of cream cheese that fell into the bowl of water from the melting bag of ice and filled with yucky melted ice water. They say the unopened freezer if packed will last 48 hours -mine with bags of ice lasted the three days and I didn't lose anything. If your freezer is only half full, it will be okay for 24 hours.

Okay, guys, thanks everyone for all of your good wishes. Stay tuned for Ivan updates.

I'm stocked and ready.

Survivor: The Hurricane Frances Saga

2004-09-08T08:10:00.000-04:00

Okay, that WAS a wee bit dramatic.

Now if only Ivan would drop off the face of the earth.

We lost power Sunday morning and it wasn't restored until yesterday evening. It is truly horrible to have a freezer full and fridge full and no electricity. And no one knows how much we take a shower for granted. And flushing the toilet. I didn't even worry all that much about the lack of air conditioning. That was the least of my worries. I NEVER expected to be without power for three days. Fortunately the phones continued to function -in my area at least. Many others still don't have power. Others lost their phone service too.

A friend of mine lives 20 minutes away and doesn't expect power to be restored for seven to ten days-something about a tube? Her phone is also not functioning. A couple of miles down the road the Deacon and his wife have no phone AND no power. I'm hoping their power was restored yesterday when mine was, but I'm really not sure.

The loss of power definitely humbles you. And brings out the best in people. One couple from church whose power was restored one day earlier than us invited us to shower and spend the night at their place. We took them up on the shower, but hubby wasn't comfortable spending the night there when he had to get up at 3:00 to go to work.

Because it remained rainy, windy, and overcast for the past couple of days, it wasn't too bad here in the house. With the windows still boarded up, it never got any hotter than 78 -which really surprised me. Oddly enough, particularly since I'm always too hot, I apparently adapted to the heat a little (I normally keep the house at 74, so I guess it wasn't a huge adjustment). When I turned the breaker for the AC back on, it wasn't long before I was freezing cold and ended up turning it way up to 78 again. By bedtime I was hot again and pushed the temp back down to 74.

Stuff in the freezer still isn't all the way frozen through again and I'm not sure the fridge is "fridgerating" properly yet either. But it sure feels good to flick a switch and have the lights come on. And the grand luxury of a shower is unreal. Never thought I'd be thrilled to be able to run the vacuum, but I can't wait to turn that on later this morning. It's amazing how messy your house can get while you stumble around in darkness for three days.

This experience HAS given me a couple of good things. It humbled me, made me appreciate what we DO have more. It made me REALLY appreciate the electric company and its workers. It made me realize that I'm surprisingly adaptive and can do 'bout anything in a pinch. AND, it gave me a great story for the next Monday Mayberry Moment.

Well, thanks everyone for your good wishes and prayers. Thank God that we're all safe and our home wasn't damaged. And pray for extra strength and energy for us as we try to clean up the tremendous amount of storm debris littering our yard. I have tons of pics when I get the Pics Host to cooperate. Take care.

UPDATE Hurricane 2004; 5:30 AM Well, I tried to do a photo update but...

2004-09-05T06:05:00.000-04:00

My darned photo host is down. That sucks. I woke up at 5:30 AM when I heard my printer click back on. That means we lost power for a while. I don't know how long. I wish I knew.

The rain bands at the fringes of the hurricane are now over us. It's raining hard. At present winds are at 25 mph. Not too bad yet. We're presently under a flood watch and a tornado watch in addition to the hurricane advisory. They're still anticipating the hurricane's eye hitting us around 2 PM. It's unbearably dark in here, but at least we're relatively safe.

I must say, I am SICK AND TIRED of watching hurricane coverage. And it now sounds like it's not expected to leave the state until tomorrow. I worry for those whose businesses were depending on this Labor Day weekend revenue. I worry for anybody who's too poor to buy wood to cover their windows. Believe it or not, some people down here don't even have home owners insurance -once the home is paid off it's not a requirement.

Well, this is me in Hurricane torn Florida. BTW, another one is right behind this one. Goes by the name of Ivan. IVAN GO HOME.

HURRICANE FRANCES 2004 UPDATE; 3:25 PM

2004-09-04T15:26:00.000-04:00

So a little earlier we went out and covered up the window panels in our back door. Then we went across the street to Mizz Jean & Mr. Jim's and covered their windows. They didn't have any plywood, but they did have some scrap aluminum from a shed they'd torn down. Hubby and I were a wonderful team. Zip, zip, zip with the DeWalt and in no time at all their windows were covered. I feel much better now. I was worrying about them. They're the sweetest people on the street. They're elderly and he's disabled. They couldn't have done it if they'd tried.

It's hard to believe a storm is coming. It's still and bright out. 90 degrees and Sunny as can be. Stay tuned for further updates. We're still expecting at least a category 3 hurricane by tomorrow. Stay safe people.

UPDATE 7:45 AM Saturday; Hurricane Frances 2004

2004-09-04T08:36:00.000-04:00

Well, it's still heading for us. If you're looking at a map, we're in Sumter County -just to the left of lake county. Our particular town is just miles from where they expect the eye to hit. We are in the Southwesternmost corner of the county.

Right now it's a little gray outside and a wee bit windy. They're really not expecting it to actually hit here until tomorrow around noon time. They DO anticipate winds and rains increasing as it nears. We're expecting anywhere from 10 to 20 inches of rain. Our property is high and dry and doesn't traditionally flood. We'll see what happens this time.

For those of you who are concerned, the only ones that are being evacuated in this county are those living in manufactured homes (glorified trailers) and trailer dwellers. Our home is sturdily built on a concrete slab. We've boarded up all of the windows. It's dark as a pocket in here. I have plenty of ice, water, flashlights, batteries, nonperishable foods.

How do we feel? A little anxious. A tiny bit scared. It's kind of weird. You have that feeling that you want to protect your home and family at all costs, but with something like this, there's only so much we can do. A hurricane is wildly unpredictable.

What's the neighborhood look like now? Yesterday there were four homes that have done nothing to board up. Last night the Alcoholic across the street began working on his windows. He's really F'ed in the head. Instead of attaching the boards to the exterior of his windows, he's taken them inside. I don't know what he's thinking. We're a little concerned about one of the two others on the street. Mizz Jean and Mr. Jim are older and their house looks a little less than well kept up. They have a tremendous amount of "Yard Art" (to quote <a href="http://humanmishaps.blogspot.com">Amanda</a>). Their "fence" is constructed entirely of lattice and two by fours. They haven't boarded up. Doesn't look like they did anything with their "yard art." The other guy on the street is Mr. Antisocial -don't get me wrong we don't expect or even want to be friends with EVERY person on the street, but don't be lookin' right at us when we wave and do a 360 degree turn to face your house like you didn't even see us.

Do we have anything we wish we'd done? I wish we'd bought a generator. I think after Christmas all my substitute teaching money will go toward buying one of those for next hurricane season. That and a ride on lawn mower. And a treadclimber. And a Kitchen Aid Mega Mixer. And a powerwasher for the driveway and patio. And... Okay, so I've got all my pay spent for the next six years. It'll give me something to keep me goin' in every day. LOL

I wonder when the cabin fever will set in? This is the first time in over a year that Daddy's (Hubby) been home with us for more than two days in a row. We're glued to the news channel. I'm sick of hearing about the darned hurricane, but too scared that I'll miss out on something. It's been all they've talked about since Wednesday. All other programming was pre-empted. I might go in our son's room to watch a little TV Land. "Greeeeeeeen Acres is the place to be.... Farm Livin' is the life for me...."

Hurricane Frances 2004

2004-09-03T09:22:00.000-04:00

Hurricane Frances is now just off the coast. Though it has weakened, it is still considered a very powerful and dangerous storm. More than 2.5 million people along the coast have been evacuated. The storm is expected to cover the entire state.

Because it is slow moving, it is expected to hang over the state for days. Bridges are closing. Homes and businesses are boarded up.

Here in Mayberry, there are a handful of homes that refuse to believe anything is going to happen. They haven't taken any measures to protect their homes. They haven't vacated their homes. They seem to be going about their normal everyday activities.

My walk-in closet shelter is prepped and ready to go. I'm doing laundry and running the dishwasher now -in case our house isn't destroyed, but we have no power for a few days. I'm going to cook dinner early. I'm also making a cold pasta salad for dinner for tomorrow.

It feels kind of weird to have had this much time to get ready.

They're warning us not to take comfort in the slowing of this storm system. They're saying that as it slows it may actually gather strength.

Keep tuned in for updates.

I'm trying a new thing...

2004-09-02T17:07:00.000-04:00

I'm going to try the "post from e-mail" thingy. I'm hoping it works.

I've been very busy getting ready for Hurricane Frances. It seems this one will be far more serious and scary for us here in Dumpster er-uh, Sumter County. I have half of my windows covered with plywood. The rest have to wait 'til hubby gets home from work in a couple of hours. Those full sheets of plywood are just too heavy for me. Tomorrow morning I'll prep our walk in closet for shelter use. We have plenty of water, non perishable food, comfort foods, batteries, flashlights, etc.

wish I had a giant bubble to put around my house. I won't put myself or my family in danger to do it, but if it's a safe possibility, I'll update you with pics of the storm as it goes on. I'll also continue to blog throughout the storm until it gets bad enough that we have to jump in the closet. Be safe people. Pray for us here in the storm battered south.

Well, I'm off to see the Wizard...

2004-08-27T06:51:00.000-04:00

'K actually I'm off to Daytona for the weekend. My best friend and her family have moved on from Kissimmee to there before they're going to take their flight back home. I hate driving and that's a long trip from here (at least three hours, I think) so send me positive thoughts and prayers for a safe trip to and from.

Catch up with me on Monday for the next edition of Monday Mayberry Madness.

Words I never expected to utter, drunk or sober: "I'm a Cocktail!"

2004-08-24T10:23:00.000-04:00

Near teetotaler that I am, it seems odd to compare myself to a drink, but Kandy did it, so, being the copycat that I am, I did it too!

And I qualify as...

Cocktail

?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
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Meanwhile, I must apologize for the lack of a "Monday Mayberry Moment" yesterday. Between first being busy with school going back, son's birthday, depression, and then recovery and applying for the substitute teacher position, there's either been no Mayberry Moments or I've just been too self absorbed to take notice. But I have a good one for next week and I'll bed developing it over the next few days.

My best friend, with whom I've been friends since the 3rd grade, Chris, has flown in from Jersey and is only here for a week. My posts may be sporadic for just a little longer. Today I'm doing all my housework and re-organizing my closets and storage in my bedroom. Tomorrow I'll be doing my prep work for the tamales I'm serving for dinner Thursday night -there's nothing like 8 for dinner. Tamales are time consuming. I'll do all the assembly and prep tomorrow then stick the stockpot into the fridge until Thursday afternoon when I'll take them out to stick 'em on the stove to steam.

I also have to mow this afternoon -Can you hear me cringing? And put our new mattress in our bedroom. I wouldn't let the unsavory looking delivery guys put it in the bedroom. I had them leave it in the foyer. I don't want them checking the place out for their homies who'll come and rob me next week. And I made sure I tipped them enough to stop for some lunch -gotta keep the scary ones happy. LOL. Actually, they were kind, polite, professional, etc., -they just looked like they might have all the wrong friends, if ya know what I mean.

Okay, I'm off to boil the chicken for the tamales and clean the house.

If I don't have

2004-08-21T08:53:00.000-04:00

THE BEST READERS/FRIENDS in the whole world, I don't know who does. Thanks to everyone who expressed concern, gave encouragement, advice, and shared their own "tragedies." Nothing hurts so deeply as family troubles -particularly when it's your own Mother doing it to ya. I'm feeling a lot better. I don't think I'll ever be completely okay with the way things are, but I'm not depressed anymore and I feel okay with shutting off that chapter of my life for a while. If you pray, please pray that they move farther away -that would make all of this a lot easier. Now you know one of the pitfalls of living in a small town.

In other news, with all of the positive thoughts and prayers coming from all of you special people and my real world friends, something pretty cool has happened. I don't know if you're aware, but I spend approximately 1 to 2 hours a day sitting in a lineup outside of the elementary school waiting to pick up my son every day. The line usually stretches for about 1/4 of a mile out of the very long school driveway. I like to be the first one in line so I always get there obnoxiously early and sit eating my lunch, read a book, take care of correspondence, etc., etc. Well that was last year. This year the secretaries didn't like to see me out there in this gosh-awful heat. They asked me to come inside to the AC. They said they had stuff I could help with if I wanted. I agreed -I like helping others -especially in the Air Conditioning (LOL).

I've been helping them for about two weeks now. Just the other day they said, "HR Lady, have you ever thought about being a substitute teacher?" In working with me every day they've learned my various skills and decided I'd be a great substitute teacher. So I asked about the particulars and learned it wouldn't be too hard to get started. I was very excited. Don't know if I've ever told you people, but I always wanted to be a teacher. In high school my teachers talked me out of it. Told me there was no money in it.

Now that I've been a stay at home Mom for a while, I've got my housecleaning routines down to no time at all (thanks to Scooterdeb and the Fly Lady) , with the kid in school there's very little to do in the house, and I miss my old Human Resources income -afterall, 95% of my income was luxury money; hubby payed all the bills. I don't want a full-time job and I still want to be home when kiddio is home. The substitute teacher job is perfect for me. I only work when I want to work. If they call and I have things to do or just don't feel like it I just tell them I'm already busy. I'll still be able to dedicate time to volunteer work for the church. I'll still be able to maintain my secret identities -HR Lady, Mega Mom, Wonder Wife, Happy Homemaker, Courageous Catholic and Voluptious Volunteer, but I'll also be earning a little fun money without asking hubby for money. And I'll feel more productive. I'll have more direct contact with other adults (and more children). I'll probably find more to blog about -the political crap of working with others, the antics of children, the interaction with parents, the apalling wardrobes of some of the mothers that show up at the school (don't they care if they embarrass the crap out of their kids?).

Well, that's my good news.

Why hasn't HR Lady gotten back to posting everyday like she used to?

2004-08-18T06:50:00.000-04:00

The short answer? I'm depressed. I'm fighting really hard against the depression, but it's a losing battle. All I want to do is sleep and eat.

The thing causing my depression is beyond my control. I think that just makes it worse for a control freak like me. I really don't know how to end the depression. It's making me feel like a big failure. I'm not telling you for sympathy. I'm not suicidal and crying for help. I'm just unbearably sad.

It's because of a highly disfunctional relationship with my mother. It has nothing to do with anything I've done wrong. In fact, I think I've been a pretty good kid to her -I was always an honor student, worked hard, Christian, family person, never did drugs, was never much of a drinker, never tried to sponge off of her, always tried to please her. Technically, it's not even my mother's fault. She had a bad childhood -horrible like they write movies about. I think it's caused some mental illness. Unfortunately, the brunt of her problems hits me and NOT my brother and sister. I don't think she even realizes it, but it's obvious from her actions and words that she resents me. Blames me for all of the problems in her adult life. Even envies me because my life appears to be going well for me. I know it sounds ridiculous for me to say these things, but other people have picked up on it.

I've tried very hard to be understanding. Tried to make it clear to her that she needs help (in a gently way). I've put up with her cutting me out of her life completely for months at a time -not speaking to me at all and influencing my deadbeat brother and sister who live with her to do the same. I've put up with her trying to punch me in the face and hit me (I usually just back out of her line of fire) because I wouldn't argue with her. I've put up with her verbal abuse. I've put up with her twisting my words. I've put up with her disrespecting me. I've put up with her being insulting and verbally abusive toward me in front of my child. I have seen the impact that has on my husband and child. I know that the best thing is to keep away from her. But it's destroying me.

Please don't feel obligated to make sympathetic noises. Please don't think you're getting only one side of the story. I just had to get this out of me. I'm hoping it will help me break away from this depression. I've been through counseling. I'm done with that. Counselors and priests both have suggested I maintain my distance from her for my own mental health. I know that's what's best for me. It's just really hard to deal with having a mother and not having a mother. If anyone else has had a similar experience and wants to share, or knows someone else who did and wants to share, I'm open to that. I feel like a freak knowing my mother doesn't love me. She hates me. It's awful.

Monday Mayberry Moment or, "The Baptists are Coming! The Baptists are Coming!"

2004-08-16T06:52:00.000-04:00

Yeah, had to skip the last two Monday Mayberry Moments between illness and the start of school and a huge birthday party. Sorry about that.

So this week's Monday Mayberry Moment brings us right to the front door of HR Lady's humble abode. Two weeks ago, only hours after posting that week's Monday Mayberry Moment, there came a knock on the door. I was in the master bath talking to hubby while he shaved. Small son was in the dining room playing (don't know why, since toys aren't allowed in my dining room). He yelled, "Mom, somebodies at the door."

I headed toward the dining room yelling, "Well, is it anybody we know?" He said, "I don't know. They're in a car. There's tons of them. They're all over the street."

Choking back laughter as I came into the dining room envisioning thousands of door to door salespeople scurrying up and down the street like ants. I stood across the room and looked out through the bay window. There were indeed tons of them. Whoever had been at our door had already walked away. These people were at the doors or walking toward the homes of every one of my neighbors. I went and opened my door thinking I'd try to find out what was going on.

When I opened my door, I looked down and saw PAMPHLETS. "Aha!, " I thought to myself, "Jehova's Witnesses!!!" But, boy was I ever fooled! Apparently the Foot Washin' Baptists are now so desperate to fill their church that they've got to come knockin' door to door at dinner time.

Shame I didn't answer the door in time. They love to lecture me on how wrong we Catlics are to be baptizin' our babies. That we worship Mary (We don't worship her -some people are just too ignorant to try to understand differences in religions, cultures, etc.) and a multitude of other sins. They frequently forget to "judge not lest ye be judged," "brother take the beam from your eye, before you help me to remove the splinter from mine."

Oh well. That's all I've got for this week. It probably would have been a lot more amusing if I'd actually spent time educating, er uh, talking to the Baptists, but I didn't need my feet washed that night.

Hurricane Charlie

2004-08-13T08:01:00.000-04:00

It's looking real bad. They canceled school. It's now heading straight for us. I am VERY scared. And really worried for anyone who lives in a trailer. We're trying to get our Church friend, Miss Bea, to come stay with us. Her retirement home is a trailer. We tried unsuccessfully last night to persuade her to stay with us. We're going to try again today. The forecasts are grim. They're saying trailers will be torn apart. Windows blown out. I'm terrified. I'm praying. Pray for all of us here in Florida.

The birthday party was a terrific success. Everyone came who promised to. The kid received tons of great gifts and more than $100 in cash. Father Peter, our parish priest, played air hockey with the kids. He was so funny. We all shared hurricane preparedness tips. We all shared our fears. We checked on our friends plans. The last guests didn't leave 'til 11:30. I was up 'til 1:30 putting all the lawn furniture, etc., into the shed. I got woke up at 7:30 by a friend calling to check on our readiness for the storm.

No I Haven't Dropped Off the Face of the Earth

2004-08-11T19:59:00.000-04:00

Sorry. I've been a really lousy blogger lately. First I was really really sick. Then it was getting ready for the first day of school. Now the first day of school was two days ago and I'm busy as a one-armed paper hanger.

I've been planning a party -with 21 invited guests- for my son's 9th birthday. Only four of the guests will be children. The rest are all of his many "adopted grandparents" from Church. And our priest. If you want to feel pressure, let your son invite the priest to his birthday party.

Tomorrow is the Kid's 9th Birthday. He's 9 going on 29. I think he's going to make out like a bandit on this birthday.

Today I finally took Scooterdeb's advice. I shined my sink. It's freakin' sparkling. But everytime I turn around I come across another dish or cup to rinse out. I'm going to have to get the flylady book.

Hads, I'm not sure if there was a Haloscan problem. Maybe it was just f-in' HTML! ;)

Church Picnic 2004

2004-08-07T13:52:00.000-04:00

I'm exhausted. Got up at 3:00 a.m. to get ready to go to the park and claim the Pavillions for our Church Picnic. In our town we have a beautiful park with very nice facilities, grills, Covered picnic areas, etc., but there's no reservations allowed. It's first come, first served. So three of us Church ladies showed up there bright and early (4:45 a.m.) to put up signs and start scrubbing picnic tables and cleaning up the bathrooms.

It wasn't too terribly hot until late in the afternoon and by then everything was winding up. My feet are killing me and I'm pretty sleepy. But I feel pretty good.

Yesterday I picked up a copy of "The Butterfly Effect" at the video store. We'll probably watch that this afternoon. I'll let you know if we like it or not. Last night we watched "The Whole Ten Yards" with Bruce Willis and Matt Perry. I thought it was a dull disappointment. The guys thought it was good. I was so bored that I got up and went for a soak in the tub after the first 15 minutes. I'll have to try to make myself watch it again. They claim all the good parts came after I got in the tub. We'll see.

I'm Baa-aack!

2004-08-06T12:23:00.000-04:00

I'm mostly all better now. Thanks everyone for all your well wishes. It's been a miserable week. I'm not one to get sick for a long period. Usually I'll fight whatever ails me in record time. I have no patience for being ill. This time no matter how hard I fought, it kept coming back at me.

Maybe it was a sign that I needed some more rest. Who knows? It just makes me twice as glad that I shop Sam's Club, cuz it meant I had gigantic packs of every kind of food, so no worries about these guys starvin' while Mom was sick. The kid was wonderful, kept feeling my forehead and making me tea, bringing drinks, calling Dad at work with updates, etc, etc,. I started worrying about me when after being particularly violently ill one night I saw hubby looking at me with worried eyes. He's such a punkin'! He wanted to take me to the hospital two or three days ago -he couldn't believe I couldn't even keep down crackers and tea.

A word to the wise... If you've been really ill for days and are finally starting to feel better, don't decide that you want to mow the lawn in the 93 degree/90% humidity -it will definitely result in a relapse. Hubby wanted to know what I was thinking. I was thinking the lawn looked like hell and I'm going to be very busy this weekend with the Church Picnic and Monday with my Ladies Auxiliary meeting and Tuesday is the first day of school. Anyway, I decided to postpone this week's Monday Mayberry Moment until next Monday.

I'll have to think of something else to post about besides being sick.

Moan, whine...

2004-08-02T17:21:00.000-04:00

I'm sick. I'll give you the latest Monday Mayberry Moment as soon as I start to feel human again.

2004-07-30T10:25:00.000-04:00

I stole this from Kandy. In the last 2 weekss have you:

(y = yes, n = no, ? = can't remember)
(y) made a wish
(n) tied your shoes -it's sandal weather!
(n) eaten cake
(n) signed a contract
(n) made something explode
(nuhn-uh) directly and knowingly supported the pornography industry
(n) sent something through the US mail
(y) been very angry
(n) gone a day without eating
(n) stolen something you considered "insignificant"
(y) watched more than three different television shows
(y) prayed
(n) had a conversation that you considered very personally meaningful
(n) been intoxicated by any substance
(n) thrown up
(n) gotten paid
(n) gone a night without sleeping
(n) broken something you like by accident
(n) envied someone very strongly
(n) finished an artistic project
(n) hated
(n) made very loud noise
(n) made noise that was too loud (what's too loud?)
(y) given a thumbs up
(n) agreed to go out of state
(n) slept in a bed that is not, or has never been, your own
(n) sampled (up to interpretation) (not sure what that means)
(y) listened to Pat Benatar's "Love Is a Battlefield"
(n) been drunk
(n) smoked pot NEVER, EVER, EVER
(y) kissed a member of the opposite sex
(n) rode in a taxi
(n) been dumped
(n) been fired
(n) been in a fight (argument)
(n) snuck out of your parent's house
(y) broken the law IF SPEEDING COUNTS
(n) made out with a stranger
(n) stole something from my job
(n) saw someone you haven't seen in years
(n) fibbed to a friend
(n) had a crush on a teacher
(n) been to europe
(n) been out of the country
(n) skipped school
(y) said something you regretted instantly YUP, I GOT A BIG MOUTH!
(y) read a good book
(y) tried something new
(n) broken your word
(y) ended up not doing what you planned to do
(y) cried
(y) kept your mouth shut in order to keep the peace
FIRSTS
First best friend: Tee-Tee -I'm not sure if that was her real name.
First car: VW Beetle with 34 Ford Front End Kit -bought it myself and I loved it.
First date: Ugh, must you remind me?
First real kiss: Jason
First screen name: oneheckofabizzylady
First self purchased album: ????????
First funeral: My Dad's (I was 14)
First pets: A whole mess of rabbits (you know how that goes)
First piercing: Ears, age: 8
First credit card: 20
First enemy: Creepy girl in high school who stole my boyfriend
First musician you remember hearing in your house: Donna Summer?
LASTS
Last cigarette: never
Last car ride: yesterday
Last good cry: ???
Last library book checked out: Miss Julia by Ann B. Ross
Last movie seen: Theater, Shrek 2. On DVD, Can't remember
Last beverage drank: Coffee or Water, can't remember which.
Last food consumed: Honey Nut Cheerios
Last time showered: 'bout 1 hour ago.
Last phone call received: Yesterday, in the dressing room where I was trying on clothes.
Last shoes worn: Flip flops -I use them when I work outside.
Last cd played: Probably one of those Radio Disney ones
Last item bought: A Whole Mess of new clothes yesterday.
Last annoyance: The way people drive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last disappointment: not winning the lottery
Last time wanting to die: Not sure --anyway, who'd want to answer this?
Last shirt worn: Does that count now? Pink sleeveless top with lace detailing at the decolletage.
Last website visited: Kohls.com
Last word you said: What?!?!
Last song you sang: Something me & the kid made up to be silly
CURRENTS
Current mood: Ultra Mega Cheerful
Current music: TV
Current taste: Minty Fresh -just brushed my teeth
Current hair: top/front pulled up in a clip
Current clothes: khaki shorts and the same pink blouse I already told you about 10 questions ago.
Current annoyance(s): Rude & inconsiderate people
Current longing: to never have to pull weeds or mow again
Current desktop picture: The stupid windows default
Current book(s): Fletch Lives by Gregory McDonald
Current color of toenails: It's called honor, it's kind of a taupey pink if you can imagine that
Current hate: Mean people
QUESTIONS
What is in your cd player?: Didn't I answer this already?
What color socks are you wearing?: None
What color underwear are you wearing?: Hahaha wouldn't you like to know?
What's under your bed?: Under the bed boxes full of Mary Kay products
What time did you wake up today?: 5:00am and boy could I go for a nap right about now.

Okay, that's it. I'm off to shop.

Giggles

2004-07-29T07:46:00.000-04:00

Sort of a guest entry today if you will. Knott posted this to my haloscan comments and I wanted to make sure everyone saw it.

Here's one for you:
An unbelievably rich old man was getting ill and infirm, and knew that he didn't have long to live. So, he called his beautiful young wife to his side and told her, "When I die, I only ask one thing from you."
"Anything, darling," she told him sweetly.
"When I die," he announced, "I want to buried with my money. All of my money."
"If that's what you want, dear," she agreed.
Not long after this conversation, the rich man passed away. Many people knew of his request, and they all watched the new widow carefully at the funeral. Sure enough, during the graveside ceremony, the young widow produced a small box and placed it in the casket, then had the lid lowered and the coffin put to rest.
Afterwards, her best friend approached her and asked her about the box.
"You know, he wanted to be buried with his money," the young widow said.
The friend marvelled at how faithful to her husband's wish the young widow was.
"You are such a good person," the friend told her. "And I'm actually surprised that all of that money fit into so small a box!"
"Actually," the widow said, "I tried, but it wouldn't fit. So I deposited it in my bank account and just wrote him a check."

Not meant to be man or woman bashing, just heard it and thought it was funny!

The next one came from a non-blogging friend of mine, Nancy:

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked him, "What is wrong with you?"
Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes; she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them."
"She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give you love and compassion whenever needed."
Adam asked God: "What will a woman like this cost?"
God said, "An arm and a leg."
Adam said, "That's a little steep. What can I get, say, for just a rib?"

What can I say about this?

2004-07-27T07:29:00.000-04:00

I found this DOG TOY?!?!?! thing at Knott's. I'm not sure if it's funny or scary or both. You'll have to decide that for yourself.

Monday Mayberry Moments Vol V

2004-07-26T15:46:00.000-04:00

Well, in this week's installment we'll learn that life in Mayberry isn't just fun and games with the rednecked locals. There's the dark other side of life in Mayberry. Mayberry's frightening underbelly permeating every enterprise and institution be it social, evangelical, financial, civic or business related...

The RETIREES. A dastardly group. Seemingly sweet faced grandmothers and grandfathers who bake cookies, give hugs, and bring the best Deviled Eggs to the Church Socials. But just below the surface lies their true nature (DISCLAIMER: While some comments and events found here may seem to be stereotyping and cruel, the HR Lady actually has a great love and respect for the elderly and spends time volunteering at the local Nursing homes. The HR Lady knows from first hand experience that not all of our Retirees have a the-world-must-move-for-me-cuz-I'm-older-than-Methuseleh attitude. Actually, the majority of HR Lady's most trusted and closest friends and neighbors are retirees, but the nice ones -not these anti-etiquette scary ones. END OF DISCLAIMER) that of a vicious cart-blocking-every-aisle, always-driving-5 to 10 mph-below-the-speed-limit, cutting-you-in-the-pharmacy-line Gang. That's right GANG.

And they're frightening. Their group must be infiltrated and irradicated. Allow me to give you an example, an experience that is foremost in my mind. I go to a nice little church. A very small congregation. After almost a year there we know nearly everyone. When we come into the Church lobby there is a prayer intentions book which is kept quite busy by those of us concerned for our friends and family.

On the Sunday morning in question, I had just finished filling in my prayer intentions in the book when the Usher, a good friend of ours and a retiree, started talking to me about something. I turned to face him. Unbeknownst to me, in so positioning myself I had slightly blocked exit from the ladies room. We were talking (quietly lest we disturb those inside praying before Mass) when suddenly I'm shoved from behind and slightly to the left of me. AND I DO MEAN SHOVED. I'm slightly knocked off balance, but don't fall. I catch glimpse of the older (and definitely not frail -built like a freakin' line backer and with a man's cut to boot) woman who is just pulling open the doors into the church. She hasn't said, "Excuse me. Sorry. Pardon me," or even so much as a "You're in my way." I stood there dumbfounded. I don't expect poor manners like this anywhere I go, much less in the church lobby. The Ushers were all watching me to see what I would say. I was disgusted. I said, "Did you see that? I think she's old enough to know better." And left it there.

Ya wanna know the ugly truth? Even though I ended up turning the other cheek like I should, there was that temptation for just a minute to really let loose on her. No, I'm not saying I wanted to knock her so hard her dead granny would feel it and roll in her grave, but I really just wanted to walk out there into the entryway of the church and say nice and loud so everyone could know how rude she is, "HEEELLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I KNOW you felt yourself slam into me. I KNOW you realize you never said excuse me so that I could move out of your way. But could you have at least said, "Excuse me. I'm sorry. Or Some-FREAKIN'-Thing?" Then I'd have gone on and given her Chapter and Verse on doing unto others, etc., etc. Instead I bit the inside of my cheek nearly hard enough to draw blood and prayed really hard all the way through Mass to ask for forgiveness for my bad thoughts and to ask the Lord to help me forgive her rudeness.

What the HECK is up with people? Would it have killed Retiree-from-Hell to say excuse me so that I could have stepped out of her way? I freakin' sit two rows back from her nearly every Sunday while SHE shoots ME disapproving looks. For what? This is the hellish underbelly of Mayberry. The dark side. And believe me, if she enters her pickles in the County Fair, I'm voting against her, even if it means Aunt Bea's briny pickles will take the Blue Ribbon.

Faithfully submitted by your HR Lady.

Well, this isn't for the children's book, but it'll have to do as I'm not ready to share anything more just yet.

2004-07-23T14:32:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm feeling MUCH BETTER!

2004-07-22T16:29:00.000-04:00

So, if you were thinking I was sick again today, you were wrong. If you were thinking maybe HR Lady's been busy all day catching up with things that should have been done for the past two days, you're wrong again. If you figured out that with only two weeks 'til the kid goes back to school I went shopping, then you're right. He's at an awkward size where he can fit in a younger boys 8 or an older boys 8 depending on the cut and the brand name. We spent an hour trying on pants after pants after shorts after shorts. No problem with shirts, we can pretty much hold those up to him and figure it out.

We came home with six new pair of pants, 3 new pair of shorts (it'll be hot here FOREVER, remember?) and ten new shirts. This gets us off to a decent start, since I just bought him a whole bunch of new stuff right before school let out. Next we'll have to go through everything again and get rid of too small stuff (sadly, there won't be many of these because his growth spurt seems to have sputtered to a stop). We'll have to reorganize the closet and the drawers. We'll have to resume school year bedtimes next week so that the kid can ease back into it, which also means I'll have to go back to getting up at 6:30 every morning -Yuck. Even if it's only a half hour 'til 7:00, that half hour will be sorely missed. At least I should still have my Saturday mornings -except once he gets into that schedule, he'll be waking me at 6:30 every Saturday. Blah.

I have some good news. I'm going to be working on illustrating a children's book. A new author. I've been working on my sketches for almost two weeks. I've submitted copies of older work, and then submitted my preliminary sketches to the author. He was quite pleased. We seem to be incredibly like minded on our vision for the main character and other aspects of the illustrations. Of course there'll be no immediate income from this (we have to get a publisher first), but it will just be exciting to finally use my creative side in a professional setting. The author is located in Australia so communication will mainly be over the internet. We're looking to publish both in Australia and here in the States. We're also considering a Spanish translation to be marketed in Spain -you do know I speak Spanish fluently don't you?

Well, I'm off to do some dinner prep and then my sketching. Have a great evening!

A few words on Celibacy -YES you read that right! ;)

2004-07-21T20:06:00.000-04:00

Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by environmental encounters:

While attending a Marriage Encounter Weekend, Walter and his wife Ann, listened to the instructor declare, > > >"It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He addressed the men, "Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?" With a sweet smile on his face, Walter leaned over touched Ann's arm gently and whispered, "Pillsbury All-purpose, isn't it?" And thus began Walter's life of celibacy.

When I first finished reading this, passionate cook that I am, I thought, "Well I'd be really tickled if Hubby remembered my favorite brand of flour."

One more...

The River

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large
raging violent river.

Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed,
"God,please give me the strength to cross the river."

Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim
across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed,
"God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river."

Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he
was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed,
God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to
cross the river.

" Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked
one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.

Let me just tell you, I'm no man basher, so please don't attack me with anti-woman jokes. I just thought this was cute.

Well if Life's Little Obligations Keep up, I'll Never Have Time to Blog

2004-07-21T09:56:00.000-04:00

I have to mow today. It's rained for the last six days, on and off continuously every day. I've loved the rain because at least the temperature dropped for a while, but it did nothing for the humidity. It's just as nasty icky sticky here as ever. I dream of the delicious dry 100 degree weather of our home in Mexico, when I have to deal with the sticky nastiness of suffocating humidity at 92 degrees. Humidity screws with my hair, makes me grouchy, makes me feel continuously uncomfortable -and based on this post, pretty damned whiny too.

I'll be outside sweating, getting covered in Mosquitos, bits of leaves, and sticks leftover from the storms we've had. I hope I can survive to tell the tale of the Battle of the HR Lady versus Tall Fescue, the struggle continues.

BTW, I didn't forget to post yesterday, I had Mass, then took communion to the Nursing Home patients. When I got done there I went to Sam's Club, lost my keys while there, panicked when I got to the van and couldn't put away my rapidly defrosting raindrop coated foods. Went back inside and checked Customer Service, the restroom, and considered racing up and down the aisles and through the freezers searching for the keys, when little Mr. I'll-be-9-in-22-days-can-you-buy-this-for-my-birthday? said, "Hey Mom! Maybe we left them at the drink counter." We went there and there was a line about 12 people long. I bobbed and weaved and desperately tried to get the guy at the register to look at me. He freakin' would NOT look at me (see, I am invisible) until finally a nice lady in the line about four people back said, "Did you lose something?" I gratefully said as loud as I could (so pimple face behind the counter couldn't fail to hear me, afterall, maybe I'm invisible, but I do have a loud mouth), "YES! I think maybe I left my car keys here!" At long last the kid casually (and so slowly that I think I could have actually dived across the counter and strangled him in the time it took him) slid his hand beneath the counter and pulled out my keys.

I'd started out the day with a sinus headache, hadn't taken any medicine and the stress of the lost keys tensed me up and turned it into a migraine. I was miserable on the 1/2 hour drive home. The light from the gloomy rain sopped sky was too bright for my migraine-suffering-gritty eyes. My stomach felt sick. I thought I might have to pull over because I felt like I was going to pass out. It had been 7 hours since breakfast, I thought maybe it was worse because I hadn't eaten. In desperation I stopped at a McDonald's (I would have to be desperate to eat that). McBig McMistake. Mickey D's always upsets my stomach. I was really really feeling sick on the way home. If it weren't for the melting groceries I might have pulled over at one of the parks on the way home. I went home, dragged the cold and frozen foods inside and left everything else in the back of the minivan. I hurriedly shoved everything pelmel into the fridge and freezer. I didn't even repackage my meat. Small son knows how sick I get from these headaches. How really bad they can be, sometimes going on for days without cease, so powerful that I can't even sleep for more than minutes at a time. He brought me his comforter from his room and his "special pillow." He's such a good boy. I took an Aleve Sinus Headache tablet and lay on the couch for two and a half hours. Of course, the phone rang relentlessly -it only ever rings when I'm not feeling well and laying down, or terribly busy. I did not answer it. I slept in 1/2 hour spurts. When I woke I had still had the headache, but it had subsided considerably. The nausea was gone. I no longer felt like I was going to faint.

I had to rush to prepare dinner, shelled some zipper peas, cooked up some rice, a Rotisserie Chicken that I'd had the sense to pick up from Sam's Club had only to be reheated. I went to bed early last night. The headache is still there a little bit. Maybe mowing will make me forget it.

Monday Mayberry Moments Volume -who knows? I lost count.

2004-07-19T12:36:00.000-04:00

This week's volume of Monday Mayberry Moments is being brought to you courtesty of the Associate Press. No, it didn't happen here in Mayberry, but it's just goofy and rednecked enough that it could have.

Man Accused of Hitting Woman With Gator

PORT ORANGE, Fla. (AP) - A man hit his girlfriend with a 3-foot alligator and threw beer bottles at her during an argument in the couple's mobile home, authorities said.

David Havenner, 41, was ordered held without bond Saturday on misdemeanor charges of battery and possession of an alligator.

The alligator, which Havenner had been keeping in his bathtub, was turned over to Florida wildlife officials.

Nancy Monico, 39, told investigators that Havenner beat her with his fists, then grabbed the alligator and swung it at her as she tried to escape, sheriff's spokesman Gary Davidson said. She said the animal hit her at least once. She also told authorities that Havenner threw empty beer bottles at her, Davidson said.

Havenner's version of the story differed. He told investigators that Monico bit his hand because she was upset that they had run out of alcohol.

Actually this is the first I've ever heard of an Alligator being used as a weapon.

Detective: Well, have you identified the cause of that erratic reptilian bruising?

Coroner: Well, oddly enough I've identified the scaling as that of a North American Swamp Dwelling Alligator of the Mayberry region of Southwestern Florida. I still can't understand why this woman would have repeatedly rolled herself across it's body.

Detective: It's a puzzler. But what would you say was the cause of death?

Coroner: Death by blunt reptile.

Last Ten Google Searches Finding this Blog:

2004-07-18T20:40:00.000-04:00

Last 10 Search Terms:

18/07/2004 16:18:40	swiffer danger (Google)
18/07/2004 14:46:01	Pictures and Photographs of Mary-Kate and boyfriend David Katzenberg (Google)
18/07/2004 14:38:12	britneys tattoo (Google)
18/07/2004 11:56:12	pictures of kevin federline (Google)
18/07/2004 07:53:45	photographs chad michael murray (Google)
18/07/2004 07:04:29	to see invisible yahoo (Google)
18/07/2004 03:14:45	Ashley simpson, what%27s her new boyfriends name%3F (Google)
18/07/2004 02:56:36	mary kate anorexic pics (Google)
18/07/2004 02:37:49	mary-kate anorexic pictures (Google)
18/07/2004 00:41:39	Mary kate olsen scary pictures pics (AOL)

MMMmmmmmmm....JAVALICIOUS

2004-07-17T14:21:00.000-04:00

After all the talk by
Barrie,
Amanda,
Scooterdeb, and CK
(who doesn't seem to have a blog), I just had to stop and pick up a
Mocha Moolatte between running into Wally World, through the car
wash, and into the video store in downtown Mayberry.

BTW, I'll continue to accept questions for Ask HR Ladies Hubby through
Sunday afternoon. Hurry and get them in if you've got
questions. Scroll down to read previous questions and their
answers.

Ask HR Lady's Hubby CONTINUED...

2004-07-16T20:32:00.000-04:00

Wendy asked:

I have a question for him: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

I just want to see how you'll translate that into Spanish. Hee-hee.

HR LADy tells him the question -the way it should be told -THREE TIMES REALLY FAST

I don't know what you say so fast.

HR LADY translates/explains, Honey, en español es como: ?Cuanto
madera cortare una marmota, si una marmota podria cortar madera?, pero
esa es una trabalengua que hacen en Ingles como: Tres tristes tigres tragaban trigo en un trigal.

BTW, those word in RED are a Spanish Tongue Twister -known as a Trabalengua.

And after all of that translation we get the answer from hubby:

"Enough wood what you need, no?"

Fi asked:

HR Lady's Husband, what is your favourite reality TV show?

Forensic files, I thin. Mebe Cold Case File, yuu no thay
mek yuu to figure it ou a leetle bit and so many case is still cold ou
thare. Wha, she is som kinuh psykeek?

Then HR Lady (after laughing hysterically) explains why she's doing the
Ask Hubby thing, "No, honey, es qui mis amigos que hacen los "blogs" a
veces permiten a sus leedores a preguntar unas preguntas a sus esposos,
o mama, o otra persona. Y yo tengo que escribir todo lo que dices
tu."

"Oh, and then yuu going to write tha ovr thare tha I ask she is psykeek? Oh, honey!"

GaryBibb asked:

HRLady's hubby, what is the meaning of pie?

What language is tha? Cake?

Hubby looks at comments box then says:

Oh, wai, mebe he try to say foot?

Hads asked:

HR Lady's hubby do you enjoy a meal without tortillas and hot chilis?

Just the chili sauce? Yes.

He first thought Hads was referring to Texas Chili, as opposed to chili
peppers -he's not used to Anglos using the term chilis to actually mean
chili peppers, eventhough that's how we talk here at home. And
then HR Lady explains further, "Quiere saber si disfrutas una comida
sin tortilla y sin chili jalapeño?"

I thin I enjoy any kine o food any meal withou tortilla withou
jalapeño, if is not pohseebull in tha momen. Yeah, caus I
remember almost 18 years ago when I com ovr heer, you not even fine
tortilla or even jalapeño in the store.

Thomas asked:

HR Lady's hubby, how is it living with a goddess?

What he's talkin' about tripas? (SIDE NOTE: Tripas are
intestines, stomach, etc. -you know guts -so I said, GODDESS and he
heard GUTS)

Then HR Lady explains what a goddess is, "Si quieren decir
literalmente, un "goddess" es como un Dios feminina, pero de veras, El
quiere decir que yo soy un godess figurativo -como yo soy bella, buena,
sexy, perfecta mujer."

Oh, thas what is? Thas steel (still) in
Latin? So he wanna know hows feel to live with it? I can
say -excitin, cause you spoil me too much, so often you have surprise
for me, no? And besides that you try to unnerstan me when I am
grouchy. And I think it's time to go to bed honey."

And with that HR Lady smiled real big and hurried to get off of the computer and into the bed.

Keep sending your questions. He's really having fun with
this. More Ask HR Lady's Hubby tomorrow. Have a great
night. I know I will.

Latest Searches Finding this site AND Ask HR Lady's Hubby Continued...

2004-07-16T08:25:00.000-04:00

invisible jacket (Google)

Frogs arm bruise (Google)

Don't worry, you haven't missed out on Ask HR Lady's Hubby. You may continue to submit your questions for Hubby. I'll print answers here as I obtain them from Hubby. I kind of think at the moment he's enjoying being a part of things, but again I warn -careful with those questions lest I be forever banished from blogging. ;)

Last night he received and answered two questions before he went to bed:

Barrie asked: HR Lady's Hubby, what is your Wu-Name?
Hubby said, "My Wha? I doan no what is tha honi."

*HR Lady explaining and showing him and putting his name into the machine in various ways* "Es una cosa aqui en la computadora que cambia tu nombre, se llama, 'WU-NAME'." I get a very bewildered look and get impatient (I'm such a pain in the ass sometimes), "Ven aca. Es una maquina aqui en la computadora que hace nombres. Tienes que verla." He finally came over to the computer and He really seemed to enjoy this, especially after the first result. He got into it and had me enter our son's name and a nickname his mother used for him when he was little. Here are his results:

HR Lady's you will also be known as Crazy Samurai.
HR Lady's Hubby=Intellectual Demon
His real name=Irate Specialist
His nickname=Javi equals Phantom Mercenary

Next, Amanda asked:
HRLady's husband, would you really forever remove HRLady from blogging?

Let me just tell you, Amanda Darling, that I really wondered if I was treading thin ice with this one.

If I lep you wha? She wanz no wha?

*HR Lady explains at length in Spanish what blogging is, cuz he totally doesn't get it in English* "Ella quiere saber si nunca jamas hacerlo que no mas puedo escribir in my "blog", porque talvez no gustas el tipo de las preguntas que estan preguntando. Le avisaba, que si preguntan malas palabras, talvez me quitas de la computadora para siempre."

"Oh. No."

HR Lady: But let me just tell you people... It may look for now like I'm in the clear but this man will sit thinking about that question when he's out there alone on the Dragline. In three days he'll be asking me about that question again, "Why honi, thay thin, tha I wan take you ou from de compyutare? Wha egzacly you doin in thare?" And then Little Amanda's gonna either be in big trouble, or I'll just suddenly disappear from blogland. LOL ;)

Okay, people, keep sending your questions, I'll keep asking them. To make sure you don't submit a repeat question, scroll down and read last night's post and comments.

First Ever Edition of Ask Hubby

2004-07-15T18:22:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I sometimes feel like I just don't have anything cool or interesting enough to blog about. A bunch of bloggers do occasionally have an "Ask so and so" post, so I thought I'd do it. Mine should be interesting because you get hubby's occasionally peculiar perspective on American culture and I'll right it in the vernacular so that when you're reading it you can actually imagine the accent. It's like being married to Ricky Ricardo, only he doesn't start yelling at me in Spanish.

Ask away, but be careful, lest Hubby forever remove me from blogging. I will do my best to get answers to all your questions.

How dumb are blondes?

2004-07-15T16:13:00.000-04:00

And BEFORE you start in on me, you'd better know that, (a) I'm almost blonde myself -you figure out whether I mean that literally or figuratively, (b) I'm not the one who did the research, (c) it's all in fun and scientifically based.

Apparently according to these researchers telling a blonde a joke actually makes her DUMBER. Don't jump on me, click and read the article.

Well, I've found my Wu-name...

2004-07-15T10:29:00.000-04:00

courtesy of Barrie.

My Wu-names are:

HR Lady=Fanatical Commander

The short version of my actual name=Happy Beggar

My maiden name=Lazy-assed Bandit

My full name (which is hyphenated)=Erratic Mercenary

So there you have it folks, in all I am: Fanatical Commander Happy Beggar Lazy-assed Bandit Erratic Mercenary

Get your WU-NAME here.

Don't forget to scroll down and read my last post about Swans.

BTW...

2004-07-15T07:30:00.000-04:00

Did you know that swans are the only birds with a penis?

I learned that from Kim. She's a wealth of knowledge. About penises, anyway. ;)

Why did Cousin Zeke run from me when I passed gas?

2004-07-14T21:29:00.000-04:00

I just want to know if he quit smoking after that? They're not commenting on his injuries, but I'd sure like to know what they were.

I do NOT have:

2004-07-13T20:14:00.000-04:00

13/07/2004 18:02:56
photos of olsens nude (Google)

Despite what my searches are bringing up my site. So for all you perverts out there (and, no, I don't mean my regular readers) move on.

2004-07-13T18:46:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I found this at Kim's (and Darin's, but it's really mostly Kim's) Place. I don't know how she comes up with these things. And she's always got something new, me I've got beans.

Let me know what your test results are.

Is the glass half full?

Results of "The Test"

How optimistic are you?

Your score = 80

What does your score mean?
Wow; you are one walking ball of sunshine! In almost any situation, you're able to see the world through rose-colored glasses. Either you truly believe that things tend to work out for the best and simply put your faith in the universe, or you have learned to use the power of positive thinking to your full advantage. Whatever the root of your eternal optimism, your approach is surely giving you an edge over all the Negative Neds and Nancys out there; research has proven that expecting the best creates a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. You believe, for example, that the attractive stranger at a party really will call and in turn you come across as confident and approachable. You are able to look on the bright side in even the grimmest of situations and therefore manage to get something positive out of them. You know the deal - when life hands you lemon, make lemonade. Don't go changin'!

PS: Today we mourn the loss of Weezie (Isabelle Sanford, isn't it?) from the Jeffersons. I really loved that woman and the way she put her ignorant little husband in his place. I smell a TV Land "The Jeffersons'" Marathon this weekend.

Monday Mayberry Moments, III; Brought to you this week by the US Postal Service, "WE DON'T DELIVER"

2004-07-12T13:36:00.000-04:00

Yes, folks, time for yet another exciting and red neck filled issue of Monday Mayberry Moments. And, as you might have guessed, this weeks Moment was provoked by the USPS. And this time it's the other way around, I'M GOING POSTAL!

I ordered a bunch of toys from an online toy store for my kid's birthday. I received a confirmation e-mail that they were shipped. I purposely ordered them very early so I wouldn't have to be troubled with worrying over getting them delivered in a timely fashion -or at least that's what I thought. Boy was I ever wrong.

Gosh darn, freakin' &#*@&%^%$%*&*&^^(&#^Q%@#^%Q*@^#*&@#^@^#&#&%^!%Q*$*#$&(*!@%^^$$$(&*(*()@#^@$^&& Mayberry Post Office. On Wednesday of last week I stayed home all day. I had lots to do around the house and didn't feel like going out into the furnace that is the Florida Outdoors anyway. I went about my business and performed various domestic duties throughout the day. I hadn't really given much thought to the mail delivery.

Around four o' clock in the afternoon I went out to get my mail and found the usual bills PLUS (imagine me pounding out the keys in anger as I tell this) a "Sorry We Missed You!" note from the post office. I WAS HOT. And I'm not referring to the 95 degree weather. I was p-ed right off. I never left the house. No one came to the door. My doorbell works very well. I even rang it several times to prove it (while cussing the big lazy fat butt postal employee who couldn't get his big butt out of the itty bitty mail jeep to walk to my door). I was very, Very, VEry, VERy, VERY ANGRY. But I finally chilled and figured, "Oh okay, it is a substitute, my normal mail carrier is a really nice girl. I won't make waves THIS TIME."

I signed the little "Sign here to Authorize Redelivery or to Authorize an Agent to Sign for You:" thingy and stuck it in the mailbox with the flag up. I knew this son of a gun had been showing up every day around 1:30 (THREE hours later than my usual mail carrier), so I lay in wait. Hovering near the bay window in the dining room, assigning my son the "watch for the mailman" duty whenever I needed to use the bathroom, or run the vacuum, I was on stakeout. This guy was not going to pull another, "Ooops nobody's home," on me. He took the little note out of the box and drove away. I stood glaring at him from the kitchen window. He drove off -and I swear he kept my Newseek magazine for an extra day so he could read it.

I figured, "Okay, he hasn't got it with him today." The next day I went through the whole same routine. Again, no package. As soon as I noted the lack of package, I went tearing out the front door, rushing up the driveway to catch and question him. Yes, I know it sounds nutty, but I was having no more of this lazy bugger. But he was one up on me, apparently those Mail Jeeps have Turbo Power. He actually freakin' floored it off the street.

If I was hot before, I was then BOILING. It's now been three delivery days and the son of a peach WILL NOT GET OUT OF THAT FREAKIN' JEEP AND DELIVER MY GORP FORSAKEN PACKAGE. I'd had it. Still, I don't believe in killing the messenger. I phoned my fiendish neighborhood postal facility. I got to speak to Wanda Beabitch. I calmly began explaining what was going on. I tried to explain that, when I'm sitting at home all day, I don't expect to find "Sorry We Missed You!" notes in my mailbox. I couldn't even get finished this nasty snotty #*&%^@!#$% started shouting over me. Freakin' SHOUTING at ME?!?!?!? Why was I being polite?

She's screaming at me, "YOU NEED TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE, HE'S NEW. HE HAS TO HAVE TIME TO LEARN." Now I said to her, "EXCUSE ME," just as loudly as I could, since her particular favorite thing is shouting over people I figured I'd go ahead and accomodate her and I continued, "LYING about whether or not a customer is home is not a TRAINING issue." Would you believe this bitch had the nerve to keep screaming at me? So (since I can really have a big mouth when my buttons are pushed), I SCREAMED AT HER. I SCREAMED, "EXCUSE ME, BUT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SCREAM at ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She shut up for a millisecond, but that was all I needed.

I asked for the postal inspector. She claimed that, since we're such a SMALL facility, they only come out of request. I told her that I guessed I would be having to call them then. Her smart little ass told me, "YOU GO RIGHT AHEAD," with the snottiest, bitchiest tone she could muster. I hung up and immediately called the Postal Inspector. They listened to me at length and agreed that both the carrier and the bitch at the office were wrong. They offered to discipline both. I was very pleased. They took an extensive report. I enjoyed every minute of it.

Eventhough I go there occasionally, I have no idea who Wanda Beabitch is. I will take great pleasure in identifying her on my next trip (by her name tag). I will walk right up to her with a giant gleam in my eye. With a triumphant smile I will say, "Ah, Wanda. I've wanted to meet you. I'm HR LADY from County Road here in Mayberry. I just wanted to shake your hand and say, "You fought the bitch and the bitch won."

Don't ever push my buttons. AND don't ever scream over me. I WILL get good customer service every place I deal with, or the bitch will break loose and wreak havoc. ;)

At the end of the world I will apparently be...

2004-07-10T18:11:00.000-04:00

Harmony. It's inner peace for you, or at least
trying to find it. The shell you live your life
in is akin to monks of old. You'd be more
comfortable if things were less stressed and
made a little more sense, so you try to get
just that. You survive the end by not letting
it happen. You didn't stop it, but you
supported those who did. I'm glad you took a
break from meditation to take the quiz...

How would you survive the end of the world?
brought to you by Quizilla

PS: I originally saw this at Cheese Stands Alone, who found it at Quizilla -I think.

I fought the lawn and ...

2004-07-10T08:26:00.000-04:00

I won!!!

Actually, yesterday I was unable to mow because the pull cord thingy ended up getting caught under the other thingy inside the housing. Hubby had to fix it last night.

This morning (on a Saturday of all days) I got up early and mowed. I'm done. I got very dirty and sweaty, but not bug eaten. I'm now showered and drinking three or four hundred gallons of icy cold water. I want to run into town and get a movie, but I'm achy as heck and not at all sure there's anything we'd want to watch. Hubby's working late today.

Tomorrow we're going to the beach. BTW, in case you don't know, tomorrow is 7-11. If you go to a 7-11 convenience store anytime after 11:00 a.m. they give a bunch of stuff away. Last year it was hot dogs, slushies, etc. I only know this because 7-11 is hubby's anniversary of becoming a Permanent Resident (this is an Immigration term -hubby has lived in this country for more than 20 years), which means just about one more year and he'll be eligible for citizenship at long last. And he makes for such a good and patriotic American. And a super hubby.

Okay, if I think of the terribly amusing story that I thought of late last night, I'll post again later. Right now I'm tired and achy -you're right Zoe, one with a bad back is not meant to be mowing.

Hi Ho Hi Ho, It's off to...

2004-07-09T07:17:00.000-04:00

Mow I go. Okay. I want to give my husband a break this weekend. I don't want him to have to mow.

I have a bad back and knee trouble. I really shouldn't mow, but I tried it the other day and I was only in pain for two days, so I want to do just a little more.

The other day, just starting the darn thing I injured myself. I'm a clutz. I'm uncoordinated. I have no upper arm strength. The rip cord thingy went flying wildly and slammed into the fleshy part of my arm. I big wopping purple bruise appeared on my arm. I'm a little worried about starting the lawn mower this morning.

I'm going to dowse myself in mosquito repellent.

AM I FREAKIN' INVISIBLE OR WHAT?

Merry Christmas to All and to ALL Goodwill toward man!

KFC gives me eyestrain

Gardening is Therapeutic

Confession right here in my own personal confessional

SORRY!!!!!!!!!

Pretty cool poem -I think.

Yesterday was...

Is it just me or...

So, I have much to say but...

Well this weather is sure...

Baby V.J.'s first attempts at typing

And we return to our regular program already in progress...

A Sad Admission

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can I just tell you?

DAMN THOSE SPAMMERS

We interrupt this blogram for a very important announcement...

Just came home from the Doctor's Office...

T minus two weeks and counting...

The good news...

Another day another Doctor's Appointment...

Happy Birthday BIG BROTHER! TEN YEARS OLD TODAY!!!!

Well...

So let's see, what's new at HR Mommy's house?

Good Morning

It's 2:30 a.m. and I am wide awake

So we had our 34 1/2 week check up today...

It's 4:00 a.m.

Dear God, Please help us

The WEATHER?

Title? We don't need no stinkin' title

UNBELIEVABLE

A Quicky...

Well...

A message from Target about my new Target baby registry

Heat heat go away...

WEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL....

Okay, okay...

The Pregnancy Chronicles: Chapter Two

Well, long time no see...

EXTRA EXTRA, Read all about it!

Fa la la la la....

Well....

UPDATE:

So what's up in HR Lady's world?

I've been VERY naughty!

FYI:

I'm still alive and...

Warning to all current or future substitute teachers:

I've been too busy to breathe...

TODAY

In Case You've been wondering, I've moved...

#@*&^%$!)(X~`!@*&%^$%$$#$%^^

TGIF and What a Week!

Monday Mayberry Moment # -who the heck knows? I even forgot what day it was...

Well, today was my first day at my new job...

Very Good Looking Damn Smart Women

If you live there long enough, you'll become one of them

Search Me

Survivor: The Hurricane Frances Saga

UPDATE Hurricane 2004; 5:30 AM Well, I tried to do a photo update but...

HURRICANE FRANCES 2004 UPDATE; 3:25 PM

UPDATE 7:45 AM Saturday; Hurricane Frances 2004

Hurricane Frances 2004

I'm trying a new thing...

Well, I'm off to see the Wizard...

Words I never expected to utter, drunk or sober: "I'm a Cocktail!"

If I don't have

Why hasn't HR Lady gotten back to posting everyday like she used to?

Monday Mayberry Moment or, "The Baptists are Coming! The Baptists are Coming!"

Hurricane Charlie

No I Haven't Dropped Off the Face of the Earth

Church Picnic 2004

I'm Baa-aack!

Moan, whine...

Giggles

What can I say about this?

Monday Mayberry Moments Vol V

Well, this isn't for the children's book, but it'll have to do as I'm not ready to share anything more just yet.

#@&^%$!)(X~`!@&%^$%$$#$%^^